Chapter 361: Trauma [2]

His attention soon turned back to the other version of himself. He was nowhere near done. Elena was merely one of the problems he had to address.

"Forced maturity. It was really the best way to describe what happened to me. The drastic change that my personality underwent, the change that pushed me from one extreme to the other.

"The time in the blood world was beneficial. It made it so that the pathetic me who could barely even raise his eyes to meet those of a beast could now boldly move forward in my descending of the dungeon. For that, I'm grateful.

"But while I was given courage and the will of a practitioner, the circumstances never gave me the chance to mature emotionally. Even though I came out of the dungeon at 19 years old, I still had the mind of a 17-year-old.

"No, I might've even mentally regressed a little. I pointed out anime references in everything I could just for the sake of grounding my situation in something I knew, but it was yet another coping mechanism. My personality wasn't even my own. It was just me pretending to be other people for the sake of keeping my mental state intact.

"How old am I now? 23? 24? It's something around there. I don't think I properly developed into my own person until after I left Apeiron. And now, at this age, I'm finally able to stand here and say that I've accomplished it.

"But the fact that it took so many years just for me to act my age, it's frustrating to think about. It's why I have a slight grievance against the blood world.

"It drove me into insanity. That insanity was what I needed to survive the dungeon. But to reintegrate into society, even being my previous pathetic self would've been better.

"In all honesty, I can't even say whether the dungeon was a good thing or a bad thing for me. Because of it, I was finally given the qualifications to become stronger. Because of it, I am who I am now. And I can say proudly that I like who I am now.

"But at the same time, it brought me so many problems that it took this many years to solve. Hell, if it wasn't for this kind of unique circumstance, it would've taken even longer. The trauma that the dungeon gave me is equal to the level of strength I received from it. Perhaps it's just another form of balance.

"But, regardless of whether it was good or bad, I am glad for that experience. Just as I am happy I was able to have this one."

He sighed lightly. He had already said plenty, but there was still too much more he needed to say. But, as long as he knew it in his heart, there was no need to say it all out loud.

"If it wasn't for the drastic increase in my mental strength because of the Primordial Undying Tree's essence and those 5 plus years I spent fixing my spiritual world, having to experience that torture again most likely would've broken my mind.

"That was the objective of this trial, right? To dig up my worst trauma and present it to me in full force. To break my mind and trap me in this trauma for eternity. Even at my current level of mental strength, I almost gave into my desire to look away and ignore it.

"But instead, it's been a huge boon to me. For that, I have to thank the Primordial Undying Tree.

"I feel like...having everything laid bare to me had helped me a lot. It helped me realize a great deal of problems that I didn't even realize I had. Problems that probably would've only shown up again to hinder me when I go through my Universe Baptism in the future.

"Witnessing these problems, becoming aware of them, and even solving some of them...it's just the beginning. It's a new beginning, the start of a path where I can be the complete version of myself. I won't waste it. I won't commit the same mistakes again. I won't hide away from my problems and trauma."

I'm thankful.

He said a lot of words, but that was the key point of his message.

He closed his eyes.

"Son of Claire Watson, the future husband of Rose Adelaire, Elena Pierce, and Xue Ruyue, the bearer of the Void Physique, the enemy of the Nox, the strongest human from Earth...there are so many different things that can be used to describe me."

But what was my name? The name that this version of me wanted to know so badly. The name that I can confidently declare in front of anyone and everyone. The name of the man who would shake the universe by its very foundation in the future....

"I am Damien Void. Whether it be the past, the present, or the future, I am, and always will be, Damien Void. A mere trial like this isn't enough to shake my will. And by the wills of others, I will never forget who I am and what I represent. Now, Primordial Undying Tree, you should have your answer, no?"

The scenery of Apeiron began to fade. The version of himself from the past faded with it. He had a light smile on his face as he did so. His purpose had been achieved, and at the end, he received the answer he wanted.

Damien found himself inside yet another infinite void.

A blue holographic notification appeared in front of his eyes.

[The Primordial Undying Tree smiles.]

[The Primordial Undying Tree states that this was indeed the outcome it was hoping for.]

[The Primordial Undying Tree tells you that there is only a single trial left. In that trial, it hopes that you can become the one who claims its fruit.]

Damien smiled in response.

"Of course it'll be me. Come on, you've been watching this entire time, do you really think anyone in here can beat me?"

Another notification immediately popped up.

[The Primordial Undying Tree warns you not to get too conceited.]

"Bah, I can't even joke with you? So stiff. Trust me, I know I still have people to look out for. That Hun Fang guy is particularly mysterious, not to mention...ah forget it.

"Oi Demon God, you're there too, right? How's it feel to be trapped in this by an old ass tree? You know, I can't speak for a Demigod, but if it were me...?

"Me personally, I wouldn't take that if I were you."

[The Primordial Undying Tree bursts into laughter. It says it hasn't had such a good laugh in many millennia.]

[A frightening aura pervades the realm. The Demon God is furious at your taunting. He is wondering why a mere mortal dares to blaspheme him.]

[The Primordial Undying Tree tells him to shut up. It says that the Demon God must be seething with embarrassment because he's being restricted by a mere tree.]

Damien laughed out loud. The back and forth between these two monsters was more entertaining than he expected it to be.

With a bright smile on his face, he stretched his tired body. He had been living as the version of himself from the dungeon for so long, after all. He had experienced those 2 years without any time displacement. It all happened in real-time.

'I've yet again become mentally older than my actual age. At this point, I'll become an old monster before in 30...' Damien lamented inwardly.

But outwardly, he was feeling incredibly refreshed. The benefits of this experience were far better than the ones he got from the Trial World, even if the results weren't as tangible.

He felt like he was reborn.

The trauma trial he had just passed was the second trial, and according to the Primordial Undying Tree, he would be able to acquire its fruits in the next and final trial.

He was motivated, and his mood was far better than it had ever been ever since the World Awakening first happened all those years ago.

"Yo, Primordial Undying Tree, send me off to the next trial!"