Volume 3 Chapter 45: Spring

The first thing Tianlan became conscious of was noise.

It took her a moment to place the sound, so deep was her slumber. But it came to her, for it was unmistakable.

A rooster's crow, heralding the sun as it broke the horizon in her domain, signaling the start of spring.

It was not how she normally awoke. She remembered, ages ago, waking to the acrid tang of impurities that were deposited in her "home". It was always a slow, gradual thing, however. This was a jolt to her senses, but not in an unpleasant way. The call was... to be invigorating.

The second thing she became aware of was a feeling. Warmth. She felt warm, comfortable, and safe; she was curled up in a nest of blankets, with the dying embers of a lovingly tended fire in the hearth.

There was no pain. None of the hundred thousand fractured voices screamed in her mind. Her blood did not steadily leak from cracks in her body.

Not wanting to open an eye just yet, she examined her body. Her tongue poked around in her mouth and found all of her teeth, the ones that had been missing regrown. Her fingers ghosted over her limbs; the hard gold metal replacements for her missing body parts were soft and felt like skin. She tapped at her eye, but that was still a flat pane, the orb still gone. She was still damaged; but she was more whole now than she had been when she fell asleep.

When she had first become herself once more, a year ago, she had been running mostly on excitement and wonder at simply being conscious again. That was what had fueled her interactions. But now? Now, she couldn't feel the weariness deep in her soul. The grasping hand that tried to lull her back to sleep. Tianlan felt rested.

Her one working eye opened. Sunlight streamed in through the window, warm and comforting as she glanced around the room. It was clean and fresh smelling, like somebody had come in to air it out—and as she saw the pressed snowflower on the table beside her bed, she realized somebody had.

Multiple people. She could, at the edge of her memory, remember stories. Hands, stroking her hair. A warm nose that tucked her in tighter. The scent of grass, the comforting smell of medicinal herbs, and even the feeling of moonlight shining on her, standing vigil.

The feelings that chased the darkness away in her slumber. The feelings that had cut through the nightmares and made her nights restful.

Tears welled up in her good eye as she slowly sat up, casting her senses out. Seeking those sources of those who had granted her the gift of peace.

The easiest to find was her Connected One. Her awareness followed their connection, until she could see him, standing in the real world.

Jin.

His back muscles stretched and sweat dampened his brow as his hoe bit into the earth. His Qi poured out of his body with each motion, unconcerned with perfection or extracting every drop of value. Instead, it was focused on mending and protecting the vast and resilient earth he walked on. He gave his all to her, as he always had. His Golden Qi, full of his desire to help and a love for his craft, flowed into her. It enhanced her; repaired her shattered body and broken Dragon Veins.

But his was not the only Qi, like it had been in the beginning.

Upon his shoulder was a rooster, eyes sharp and ever vigilant. His Qi radiated off his body, following his Master's into the soil. The light of the moon was less tender than that of the solid power of Gold, but it was a dutiful warden. It was fast, fierce, and vigilant, rooting out any impurity that might dare to hide in her Qi.

His flock trailed behind her Connected One, and the rooster guided them with expert clucks. He sent them forth to sup upon the worms and insects within the soil, occasionally hopping off his Lord's shoulder to partake himself. When he returned to his Master's shoulder, he would let loose another call. Proclaiming to all the world that it was spring, exulting in the time of new growth with all his heart.

When Bi De called, others would call with him. She felt a tug of amusement from another one of her connections, this one as developed as that of Jin's. She followed it, away from Jin, and was met with her connected One's other half.

Meiling let out a "hey-oh!" as the crow filled the hills. She was arranging and rearranging her garden layout, looking over it with a critical eye before shaking her head and adjusting the placement of a pot. Her Qi was quiet. Understated, compared with Jin's. But it worked with the Gold Qi seamlessly, fortifying and enhancing the golden patches.

With her was little Ri Zu. She dutifully attended to her Mistress, the two of them working together to take what they needed out of storage. Ri Zu squeaked and chittered while the two women casually quizzed each other on anatomy. Her Qi found the little, hard to reach places of impurity, guiding the moon and the Gold to make sure nothing was missed.

A cry came from another little spark nearby. A nameless babe, propped up on blankets within his mother's reach, watching the world with a simple, sublime joy. Tianlan felt her connection to him. A tiny thread linked them, marking him as one of hers. He was too young to draw upon his Qi but the little bits that were there flowed between them like one being.

From there, the house caught her attention, for there was darkness there, its ravenous hunger controlled and quiet. What the moonlight could not purge, and what medicine could not cure, the Void destroyed utterly. Sometimes, it even tore out the pieces that were too far gone to mend, so that resources could go elsewhere. But in the minute amounts of pain it caused her, she knew it was not unkind. The destruction it provided was necessary.

It was strange to think of the Void as cheerful or kind, but it was. Pi Pa gossiped away with... one Tianlan wasn't as familiar with. The beautiful woman was working with the pig, her own son tied against her back and a bright smile on her face.

She watched them as they took their tea and biscuits out to the fields, passing by Meiling and Ri Zu, heading for the outer fields.

There, they chanced upon a contest. The Descendant of Ruolan, Tigu, and a woman with a passing resemblance to the Lord of the Lake were dueling. They sowed the new fields by jumping in the air and throwing the seeds, coating them in Qi so that they would not break. The seeds landed in perfectly straight, perfectly cut furrows—and when no victor could be decided, they simply started on the next one, their trick-shots becoming more and more elaborate.

Tianlan's heart ached as she stared at Cai Xiulan. The woman with the golden crack in her chest, a reminder of what she had been willing to sacrifice. Yet she had reached the same level she had been before she burned, her Qi a vibrant light to Tianlan's senses.

Tigu was Tigu; there was nothing else to be said, and Tianlan was looking forward to teasing the both of them. The Girl Who Was a Cat was happy, so happy, as she jeered and japed with the other warriors and listened intently to the final woman who began a lecture on "how to be a good sister."

Naturally, according to Xianghua, she was the best, and Tigu could merely hope to be a distant second. The woman was not one of Tianlan's... not yet, at any rate. Her misty Qi flowed into the ground without a thought—especially when Tigu launched herself at the woman, shouting that she was courting death.

A great dragon watched on, laughing at the ensuing duel, having received his tea from the pig. His storm of Qi rained upon the freshly sown fields, watering them in, the draconic deluge was awash with fortifying might, the vitality of the dragon's power, given freely, saturating everything he gazed upon. It provided for the new seedlings a measure of his own power—if only because a bit of Qi now meant that they would be more delicious later. Tianlan smiled as she sensed the dragon's gluttonous smacking of his lips as he dreamed of spring's bounty, and all the wonderful food they all would share.

But there were some missing. She cast her senses around the farm, looking for them, but they were not there.

With a frown, Tianlan followed the connection further. She paused when she realised how much her domain had expanded. Previously, it had been confined to a thin line along the road. Now, the core of it was a bubble that saturated the whole village. Hong Yaowu, Jin called it. Tianlan grimaced at the feeling of the ancient ritual point. It was amazing that people still lived here—but it had been... his decision to found this place.

She didn't know if she liked it.

She dismissed the thought as she came into Chun Ke's presence.

His dependable Qi was a beacon of warmth and safety. He felt her senses upon him, somehow, and smiled at his Big Little Sister. For a brief moment, his eyes unfocused, and he was there beside her, a kindly snout sniffing. She smiled at the examination and patted the curious nose. Content that she was alright, he once more departed.

He was with Solid Gou Ren, as he instructed the people of the village in how to sow the fields in the way of her Connected One. He was a foundation, strong and pure, with the slowly growing demeanor of a leader in his own right. When he spoke, the people listened, as they redid their fields... though not without some help.

Bei Be, Sun Ne, and Yun Ren helped cut in the new fields, the plow exalting in the perfect cuts. Yun Ren seemed spectacularly amused as he used a sword for his part, a piece of an old fox howling with laughter lazing nearby with snacks. The artifact blade radiated curiosity, finding its circumstances interesting.

Yin, the bright sun, pulled a new seed drill entirely too fast along one of these new fields. Atop it sat two of the newer additions to the farm. Bowu cackled with maddened laughter as his new creation performed to his exacting standards; while Huo Ten the monkey whooped and hooted beside him.

Finally, there was Miantiao. Tianlan could still feel the well of grief within him, banked behind his eyes. But today, he had a smile on his face, as he watched the young ones play. She sent reassurance down their small connection, and allowed him the moment of peace.

Tianlan traveled to the extent of her reach; past the first ritual point, then past another. She seemed to extend across a good portion of the north. She was still a fraction of the size that she had once been... but she was there. She was stable.

She almost couldn't believe it, as she brushed her senses along the connections. It wasn't like the grand ritual. It wasn't a funnel of Qi, directed by one person's intent. It was a myriad of different flavours and emotions. It was like her connection with him. But somehow, more intense. More familial. It was almost overwhelming, to be truly connected to so many others.

For a while, she just basked in the feelings that the spring and her people brought her. The joy of a day of honest work. Gou Ren blushing and grumbling when he saw that Jin had done most of his fields for him while he was helping the village. He was grateful, but he had wanted to do it himself.

They had a grand feast, using up the last of their leftover preserves. Pickles and salted fish, fresh fruit from the greenhouse, fiddleheads, and morels. It was an eclectic mix, yet none complained. Jin started strumming on his instrument, and Ruolan's descendant picked up the tune.

Xiulan was getting a lot better at dancing, as she swung each member of the farm into a merry jig; Meiling, for the first time in months, got to try the mead. Her cackles echoed over the farm, as did her off key voice.

It was wonderful. It was utterly wonderful. Her heart pounded in her chest as she simply watched—watched, until they all went to sleep, ready to be bright and early for more work tomorrow.

Tianlan sighed, as she left them returning to her body. She sighed with contentment, the nightmares seemed so far away today. Finally, she arose from her bed, humming one of the tunes Jin had played—and realised that her humming was accompanied by a familiar sound.

The tones of a Ban Jo drifted in through her window.

Her Connected One was here.

For a brief moment, Tianlan hesitated. Memories of... her past welled up within her. Pain.

Then, she shoved the memories of the traitor away. This one... this one wasn't like him at all.

She looked down at the rags she was wearing, and took a breath. There was a brief moment of concentration, and then her clothing changed.

Instead of fine silk or rags, she dressed in the garb of a farmer. A modest dress and a practical top—the only decoration that of a Maple Leaf and a Wheat Stalk. She stood and walked to the burnished bronze disk that served as a mirror, really looking at herself. No more bashed in teeth. No more brutal scars. Even the gold cracks had smoothed out. She wasn't some emaciated wretch anymore.

She was Tianlan.

She opened her door and stepped out into the night. Out under the field of stars, unmarred by golden cracks, each and every one shining brilliantly and illuminating her realm. There was a patch of snow right beside her house, coal eyes and a smile of all things upon it, but the rest of her realm was covered in grass.

She swallowed thickly as she looked forward and saw him. Her Connected One was sitting on a rock, not too far from her house.

His fingers lazily strummed. Once, twice, he hit bum notes, sending it twanging. But he recovered, and kept on playing.

He played until the song was finished. The last notes faded into the air.

Jin turned to her. His face was still split in two, welded together by a band of gold, but it was smaller than she remembered. She barely felt any of the turmoil within that had once dominated him. Only a feeling of peace.

Less two souls mashed together, and more one person.

Tianlan froze, with his gaze upon her. She knew that she had... not exactly been completely truthful with him. Fear had kept her from interacting outside their dreams.

What would he do? How would he react? She knew he had wanted to run away from cultivation—and here she was, making him everything he didn't want to be.

But instead of the expected recriminations, he smiled at her.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said, his voice warm.

A smile crawled across Tianlan's face, as she felt the wellspring of calm and honest joy at seeing her—at seeing the little broken wreck of a creature she was.

"Good morning," Tianlan whispered back.

He nodded and patted the rock beside him. Hesitantly, Tianlan took first one step, then another. And then, suddenly, she was seated beside him.

For the moment, there was silence.

"Nice to really meet you," Jin eventually said, looking at her with amusement. Tianlan flushed and kicked her feet, looking away.

"... I'm sorry. For not really trying to talk to you." He needed an explanation she didn't have the words for, but she didn't need to find them; the connection between them was open. Her fear, anxiety, and now hope suffused their bond.

Jin didn't get angry. He simply nodded. She supposed it was easy to understand, when you could feel what the other person was feeling.

A hand landed on her head as he ruffled her hair. "You've been helping us out a lot, huh? I would have said thank you sooner."

"But you do," she corrected him.

"Hm?" He turned, confusion on his face.

"You do say thanks. All of you. What was it you said? We give to the Land, and the Land gives back. You healed me. It should be me, you know? Saying thanks." Tianlan turned to look at him.

He mulled over her words, and then sighed and shook his head, a fond smile on his face. "Ooh, well. We'll call it just aboot even then, eh?"

Tianlan giggled at his strange, thick accent he put on. "Call it even," Tianlan agreed.

"Buuuuttt. I'm not the only person you need to say hi to, yeah?" He whispered to her, and pointed down, off the rock.

Tianlan blinked, and turned to where his finger was pointing. Pointing at the tables being set up. Where Chun Ke was trundling happily, and Xiulan was furiously chopping imagined foods...

And where Meiling was standing, her hands on her hips, radiating displeasure, a gimlet eye upon Tianlan. The gold glow of her freckles seemed just slightly sinister.

"She ain't too happy you tried to go to sleep in a hole in the ground. Call her big sis. It normally stops her being so angry."

Jin's hand landed on Tianlan's back, and before she could gather her courage, she was launched into Meiling's arms.

"Hello, little one," she said, her voice so saccharine sweet that it made shivers go up Tianlan's spine. "I trust that you'll not be foolish next winter?"

Tianlan took her Connected One's advice as she stared into two baleful purple stars. "Yes, Big Sister. I'm sorry." Tianlan sniffed, instantly surrendering.

Meiling's eyes softened, and Tianlan was scooped up into a hug—warm, and safe.

There was a seat for her, there at the large table. Near Tigu, arguing with Ri Zu about the name of a child. Beside Jin and Meiling, sandwiched between them.

Slowly, hesitantly, she started to smile.

Her people. They were all here... and all connected.

Tianlan's feet pounded to the beat, and Xiulan's did the same across from her. The Dance of the Elements had more happy memories than bitter ones.

Xiulan had gotten better. She was no Ruolan and never would be—but her passion was just as beautiful as Ruolan's utter mastery.

But the drums eventually had to end. They clapped their hands together and bowed, and were immediately swamped by the others, laughing and trying the moves for themselves.

Tianlan's heart was full to bursting. Her head felt like it was swimming. But... there were two missing from the scrum of people.

The first two.

The one who had started her healing.

Jin.

He was seated off a bit to the side now, simply watching with a smile on his face. He did that sometimes. He separated himself and just enjoyed other people having fun. She could feel the pride—that he had enabled this. That they were happy because of his hard work. Bi De was upon his shoulder, the rooster made of moonlight standing tall and proud, as he too observed the gathering.

Her own feet took her in that direction, none of the others noticing she was going.

"Having a good time?"

Tianlan plopped down beside him on the rock. "No thanks to you! I thought Meimei was going to turn me over her knee!"

He barked out a laugh, and stared down at the others. "Well, I'm glad you're in high spirits at least." He trailed off, seemingly considering something. "Can we talk for a minute?"

With a bit of privacy went unsaid. Bi De bowed his head, and took off from Jin's shoulder. After a moment, Tianlan obliged him. With a wave of her hand, the distance increased, until they were on top of a hill a thousand Li away.

They drifted into companionable silence, for a moment... before Jin sighed.

"Tianlan?"

"Yes?

"Could you tell me what happened?"

Tianlan paused at the question. In another time, she might have deflected. But tonight... tonight, she couldn't. She could hear the duet of Meiling and Xiulan belting out the song about the donkey, their voices echoing off the hills.

She took a deep breath—and then startled a little, as Chun Ke was suddenly there, having sensed her distress.

She buried her fingers into the mane of the ever reliable boar... and nodded. She owed him that much.

She owed all of them that much.

Slowly, haltingly, she began her tale. Of how she first came to be. Of ... Xiaoshi. Of the Azure Mountains before the fall of the Mist Wall.

The story was painful. It hurt, dredging up the things she had tried so hard to forget. But for him? For her connected one... she could bear it.

He listened to her attentively, one arm around her shoulder.

It was almost fond, the beginning parts. The middle parts too, as she told him of playing with Ruolan, Rumblin Yao, and the Crystal Masters. Of how they had made one people from the disparate clans.

Which made the fall all the more painful.

"It wasn't the breaking, that hurt the most," she whispered, her voice wavering. "Not really. If they were all fine, maybe I could have... maybe I could have been fine with it. But it wasn't that. The worst part.... the worst part was that they turned on each other for it."

"They killed each other. Our friends, they killed each other. Spirit Beasts and humans alike were butchered like animals. The bonds we forged—people who had sworn to die for each other... to the cultivators, it meant nothing. I cried and begged! I shouted until I had nothing left to give!" Her voice was the raging of the rapids, and the all encompassing fury of a mountain ripping free from its foundations. "They tore out my blood and broke open my bones to get at the marrow! Any part of me that was still intact was just that little bit more for their worthless pills. And as my Qi faded, they dug deeper and deeper, so that they could feast on the dregs! And then they used me to kill my people."

She could still feel it. Their acrid Qi, riddled with impurities. The world suddenly seemed so small, as the tears dripped from her eye. Jin was barely up to her knee, as Tianlan became less a girl and more an amorphous mass of dirt and plant life. The rage and hatred and grief pounded in her ears and made her vision fade.

But Jin was still there. Chun Ke was there. He did not move from the suddenly towering mountain that had once been Tianlan. He simply pressed his hand against her, his Qi warm, gold, and soothing. Chun Ke snorted with sorrow, his eyes watering as he looked upon her.

Slowly, she shrank. Her body once more became flesh and blood, until she was small enough for her Connected One to hold. His arms wrapped around her like the walls of a fortress, proof against the horrors outside.

She could feel the pounding of his heart. The compassion. The shared grief, as he felt her pain.

He held her, as she took deep breaths.

Silence once more took hold of the realm. She had climbed out of his lap, but they were still together, watching the stars.

All that was left was the beating of two hearts. Until Jin spoke again.

"Thank you for telling me, Tianlan."

"....you already knew parts of the story." she whispered. He hadn't been surprised. She could feel that much from him. He had known. She expected him to deflect, or say he had learned from some inconsequential place.

"Bi De found a memory crystal by a man named Xiaoshi. It was recorded in his dying moments."

For a brief moment, the rage came back.

"Oh? And what did he have to say?" The traitorous bastard.

"That he fucked up massively, that he was to blame for everything, and that whoever finds the crystal to search for any way to revive you, just so that he could apologize," Jin said, his voice calm and even.

Tianlan stared.

She opened her mouth, and closed it again.

"....what?" she asked, a sudden numbness flooding her chest.

That... that wasn't what had happened—but she could feel that everything Jin said was the truth.

"Bi De." Jin called, and a rooster of moonlight appeared, carrying with him a crystal. He placed it in Jin's hand, gave a curt bow to the both of them and left.

"You don't have to, tonight," Jin said. "It's a bit heavy, for just waking up. But... I think you should see this. Or at least the end. I mean, I kind of think he was an idiot... but... I think it might help if you hear him out."

Tianlan stared at the crystal.

Part of her just wanted to smash it. To ignore it, and sever the tie completely.

But one small part of her... it hoped. It hoped that her oldest friend had not betrayed her.

Tianlan reached out, and after a moment of hesitation, touched the crystal.

Demons. A battle in a sanctum. The moment when Xiaoshi nearly betrayed her... and then pulled back at the last second.

A Demon, maiming the souls of everyone she had ever cared about.

"I'm sorry, Tianlan," Xiaoshi gasped, and broke the formation. His heart, burning with the desire to save her.

Tears poured from an Earth Spirit's eyes.

It rained the next day.