Chapter 786: My faul

This chapter is dedicated to @Josefina Kearns! Thank you so much for the supergift!

"I'm sorry..." he uttered, his voice cracking. "I'm so very sorry."

As those words left his lips, Iryz's lashes fluttered open. Zeres did not see it because his head was bent down, staring down at her hand that was also covered in wounds. His hands were holding onto hers ever so gently, as though he was holding onto a fragile piece of glass.

Iryz took a while to focus her vision, just blinking. Until her eyes finally could clearly see her surroundings and the first thing her eyes fell on was him. The angel was standing next to her. And he looked... utterly broken. A broken but beautiful angel.

'What happened? What did they do to you to look like you're...?' Iryz was about to reach out to touch him, wanting to hug him, to at least soothe him even for a little when his whole body suddenly jerked. His gaze flew towards her. Those silver eyes she was so obsessed over widened as though in shock.

"You're... you're awake!" he exclaimed, leaning over her.

His reaction made her crease her brows. When she attempted to pull herself up, he seemed to go into a slight panic frenzy.

"No, no, don't. Please, stay still." For a moment, she saw him struggle on whether he should touch her or not. Though in the end he gently held her shoulders, supporting her as well as stopping her from moving too quickly on her own. "Lie down, please. You had been really badly injured."

Iryz was so taken aback by his sudden caring actions and the way his voice sounded so flustered that she could only listen to him and obediently allow him to guide her movements.

"Are... are you okay?" she asked him gently, remembering how broken and dejected he seemed to be earlier. She then realised that her voice was so hoarse that it was croaky.

He stilled, looking surprised by what she had just said. Then he dropped his gaze and smiled, it was a bitter and pained smile.

"Zeres?" she called out again, so hesitantly. He had dipped his head so low that he seemed to be trying to hide his face from her.

"Mm." was all he replied to her question, causing Iryz's expression to become even more confused and worried. What was wrong with the usually arrogant and proud man that she had come to be familiar with? Why was he behaving this way all of a sudden?

"You don't look alright -" Iryz prodded, trying to dig out more from him.

"I'm fine." he cut her off, still not looking at her. "You're the one who's not alright." His voice sounded almost like a whisper when he said that last line.

Then he lifted his gaze and met hers. Intense emotions shone in his unusual and beautiful eyes. They looked like gleaming silver buttons and were totally breathtaking. This was the first time she had seen him let emotions that were not anger nor frustration fill his eyes. But she did not like these emotions he was showing too. Because it was simply... heartbreaking. Why was this beautiful person always so sad?

Could it be that something had happened to the woman he was desperately trying to save? Was that why he was looking like this? She wished that she was wrong, but what else could make this man look like this?

"I'm sorry." He said, averting his gaze from hers again. "I am not saying this because I want you to forgive me."

She saw his facial muscles tensing as he shook his head. "No, don't forgive me. You should hate me for doing this to you -"

"Wait a moment." she finally stopped him, not being able to follow where his thoughts were going. "Stop. I don't understand... What are you... saying?"

He met her gaze and neither of them spoke until Iryz took her gaze off him and looked around. It was then that she noticed that she was not in her room anymore and... slowly she lifted her hand.

The moment she saw the awful marks from her elbow to the back of her palm, she felt her insides shudder violently. Then the memories of the nightmare of her torture returned like a tidal wave hitting right into her body. That inhumane torture and that red-eyed monster.

"I'm sorry," she heard him utter almost inaudibly. "I'm so... so sorry."

Iryz took a long while to process everything, calming herself from the sudden panic that was about to shake her entire being once again. She no longer felt any pain at all right now, but the memories were threatening to break her.

However, every time she heard him apologizing as though he was the very monster who had tortured her, she somehow found herself successfully keeping herself from falling apart.

"You're not the one who hurt me." Iryz said that matter-of-factly.

"It's my fault. I left you alone." His voice was full of self-loathing and guilt that she could feel it clearly.

She could not help but smile though a bit bitterly. She remembered that she was telling herself that she now hated him before she got kidnapped. Now she understood why he was like this. He was guilty, blaming himself for what had happened to her. And she could tell that whatever she ends up saying, nothing would change his mind.

"Where is that man now?" she asked instead of insisting on relieving him of his guilt. "Did you hurt him?"

Zeres looked away, his jaws clenching hard. "Yes." Came his one short reply.

"Did you punish him for hurting me?"

He nodded.

"How hard did you punish him?"

He did not answer her this time, so Iryz asked him again.

"Did he beg you to just kill him?" she guessed.

When Zeres nodded once again, she smiled with much satisfaction. "Then that's enough for me. For a monster like him to beg like that, you must have tortured him many times harder than what he had done to me. Am I right?"