Chapter 66.1: If Only I Had Tried Harder Part 1

If Only I Had Tried Harder

After Gillias left, I stood there for a while.

I must have used up too much mental energy while seeing Master off.

I felt completely drained.

Tired.

I wanted to go back.

I wanted to lie down on my bed and close my eyes, without thinking about anything.

I let out a sigh, a small wish escaping my lips.

'Well, at least I got to know someone like Gillius... that's something, right?'

I tried to console my exhausted self.

As I was dwelling on my fatigue, I felt a presence nearby.

I slowly turned my head and saw an unexpected face.

"Young Master Lishite."

"...Young Master Reinhardt?"

It was Allen, the protagonist of the original story.

He had appeared out of nowhere and was now asking me to accompany him.

His expression was serious.

"I need to speak with you. May I have a moment of your time?"

"I'm a little tired right now..."

I almost refused but stopped myself.

If Allen was being this serious, then it couldn't be anything trivial.

I steadied my wavering vision and accepted Allen's request.

"...Fine, but make it quick."

"Thank you. Please, follow me. I know a place where we can speak privately."

"What is it you wish to discuss...?"

Allen led me out of the cemetery and into a secluded alleyway where no one could overhear our conversation.

He finally broke the silence.

"Young Master Lishite."

"Yes... what is it? Why have you brought me to this secluded spot?"

"I have a question for you."

"I don't have time for games, Reinhardt."

Allen hesitated for a moment before speaking.

His next words snapped me back to reality.

"Did you have something to do with Professor Lucas's death?"

"...What?"

My brow furrowed in confusion.

Did I hear that right?

As if to confirm what I had just heard, Allen repeated himself.

"I asked if you killed him."

"..."

I couldn't understand his question.

Did he just ask if I killed Master?

What was he thinking?

My head was already spinning, and now it felt like it was about to explode.

I rubbed my temples, trying to massage away the growing headache.

Allen pressed on, his voice relentless.

"Answer me... did you do it?"

My stomach churned.

It felt like I was about to shatter into a million pieces.

I tried to maintain my composure, but Allen's voice was relentless, chipping away at my sanity.

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and clenched my fists.

A memory flashed before my eyes.

Something similar had happened right after the attack on the ball.

- What business do you have here, Young Master Lishite?

- Stop...! Please, stop right there!

That's right, I remember now.

You were looking at me with those same eyes back then.

Like a hero facing down a villain.

The same composition, the same atmosphere.

But there was one crucial difference.

Today, I wasn't in the mood to tolerate your naivete.

I could feel my self-control slipping away.

"Answer me!" Allen demanded.

"Allen."

"Answer my ques—!"

"Clench your jaw."

-Crack!!

The next moment, my fist connected with Allen's face.

A sickening crunch echoed through the alley as his face contorted in pain.

I didn't stop there.

I swept his legs out from under him, sending him crashing to the ground.

"Ugh...?!"

I pinned him down, pressing my knee into his chest to prevent him from struggling.

Then, I slammed my elbow into his jaw.

The metallic tang of blood filled the air as my hand throbbed with a dull ache.

I continued to pummel him, my expression cold and detached.

"I'm sorry."

-Crack, thud! Ugh!

"I should try to understand you, to let this slide... but I just can't do it today."

-Thud! Crack!! Crunch...!

"I used to admire you, even cared for you, but now... I don't know anymore. All I feel is..."

-Crack...!

"...disgust."

Perhaps this was my fault.

I knew you weren't the type to make such accusations without reason.

You must have noticed something suspicious about me, which led you to confront me like this.

I'm sure you put a lot of thought into this.

-Ugh! Thud!

But listen, Allen.

I've been through a lot too.

I've faced death countless times and fought my way through despair.

And now, I've lost the one person I could always rely on.

Please, forgive me.

I'm not strong enough to hold back my anger any longer.

-Thud! Crack!

My rage, fueled by grief and exhaustion, refused to be contained.

My subconscious, consumed by sorrow and regret, had taken over.

The only thing that snapped me out of my rampage was the voice of a young woman.

"Stop...! Please, stop it, Mr. Raiden...!"

A white-haired girl rushed towards me, grabbing my arm with surprising strength.

Lorraine, one of Allen's heroines and the Saintess-in-training.

I blinked, my gaze unfocused as I looked at her.

Lorraine was struggling to hold me back, her face pale and tear-streaked.

"Young Master Reinhardt insulted me. This is his punishment," I said coldly.

"T-that's enough...! Please, forgive him!" she pleaded.

"I'll decide when it's enough. And who are you to interfere?"

"But...!"

"Perhaps you'd like to take his place, then?"

I asked, my voice dangerously low.

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