Chapter 63: Let's Stop Pretending
Lu Xinyi sucked in a deep and shuddering breath. The butterflies in her stomach refused to settle as she waited for Shen Yi to say something. She had to prepare herself for whatever his answer would be. If he didn't... if he didn't feel the same way, maybe she should learn how not to love him.
She had tried her best to quell her feelings, telling herself that it would complicate things between them. That it wasn't something worthy to cry over. She would stay married to him for a year just as they had agreed on, and then she would leave him alone.
Lu Xinyi wished that she didn't feel this way for him—that her heart wouldn't skip a beat whenever she sees him sleeping early in the morning, whenever he graces him with his rare smiles. That looking in his eyes didn't make her feel weak and fill her stomach with butterflies.
She released her hold on his hand and stepped back, but his hand swiftly moved and clutched her wrist, not letting her go. Her mind was trying to decide how to deal with the situation at hand. Shen Yi kept silent and just stared at her face.
Did she somehow offend him?
"Why not you? Didn't I say I like your pancakes? It was the first thing I noticed about you." Shen Yi smirked.
"Shen Yi. I'm serious!"
He sighed and ran a hand on his face.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask you, right? You don't have to say anything. I understand if you aren't interested," Lu Xinyi said. She felt pathetic, and somehow, she could hear her own heart breaking apart.
Did she really think there could be an outcome to this one-sided love of hers? She berated herself for ruining their night. She should've kept silent. It wasn't the right time and place to talk about it.
"I never said I'm not interested." Slowly, he reached over her cheek, his thumb wiping away her tears. "I don't know how to deal with this."
Lu Xinyi gaped at him for a moment as she tried to regain her self-control, her mouth opening, but she couldn't find the right words to say something. Would it be possible to hope that she could retain some of her dignity and leave, away from this horrendous situation?
"I don't know how to explain these feelings I have for you. Several times I wished we can stop pretending: to be truly husband and wife, not just in legal papers."
Her breath hitched, her face flushed red, deeper than ever, at his words. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. A finger hooked under her chin and tilted it gently so she could look into his eyes.
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He set her on the edge. He was too handsome. Too popular and powerful than the status that she had. Truth to be told, she was merely a commoner. It made her wary to be in his presence as if she could never live up to him and his expectations. As if she would become reliant on him and would suffer worse when he realized she wasn't the one he wanted.
Glancing down at herself, Lu Xinyi admitted to herself that she wasn't even in the same category as Shen Yi.
"But if you must know, you're the most interesting woman I met in my life. Your smile brightened up my boring life. You aren't like other women I've seen and encountered. That even after finding out my real identity, there was no greed or a devious gleam in your eyes when you look at me."
Lu Xinyi stared at his eyes as if trying to see beyond his soul. Her lips curled into a smile. She let her head rest back onto his chest, his arm wrapped around her back in a gentle hold.
"Then let's stop pretending. Let's learn and get to know each other, Boss Yi." Her voice sounded content and happy.
Delight and affection wreaked havoc within him. He thought she would push him away, that she would reject him because of what he'd said. Now, he could hold her as a real husband— love her in all the right ways. His eyes gleamed when he placed a gentle kiss her head.
He murmured something, but the loud noise coming from the podium covered it. Lu Xinyi lifted up her head and frowned. She was sure her husband said something.
"What did you say?"
Shen Yi blinked when he realized what he'd just told to his wife. He grinned and shook his head. Somehow, he was relieved that Lu Xinyi didn't hear it. It was something he must admit first to himself.
"I'll tell you next time."
Annoyed that he didn't repeat what he'd said, Lu Xinyi pouted.
"Come, let's go home." Shen Yi led her outside the ballroom to the empty hallway. "I can hear your tummy rumbling from hunger," he teased.