Chapter 542: Hide Everything!
Translator: Nat
Domestic Affairs Commissioner Office.
「I don't want to give Hardlett time. Personnel selection must be done swiftly.」
It is close to the worst case scenario as a feudal lord for an investigation team to be sent into your territory.
It is especially true for a great feudal lord outside of the capital of Hardlett's caliber, who is bound to have hidden assets or mines, as well as three or four other dishonesties.
Normally, a feudal lord's authority is extremely strong.
If an investigation is to be conducted, the lord needs to be notified days or months in advance, and that time will allow most things to be concealed.
But in this case, the scope of the inspection is Hardlett's entire territory and the order was given directly by the king, so he can't decline.
No matter how desperately he tries to hide things away, something 'not good' will definitely be found.
To Kenneth, Hardlett is the strongest party in Erich's faction, an existence who holds great power as a feudal lord, and an obstacle. However if he were to directly confront the Hardlett family, who achieved countless military exploits on the battlefield, he would cause too much discord.
That's why he wants to use this chance to find as many 'unsavory' things as possible.
It was an opportunity if he could mix in the schemes he excels in, naturally on top of the fines for breaking the law and the confiscation of hidden mines, to possibly cut Hardlett's territory, limit his military, and lower his status as the most influential house in the frontier district.
The composition of the investigation team was decided to be 30% from Kenneth's faction, 30% from Erich's faction, and 40% neutral.
He needed to pick effective personnel.
「Here are the suitable persons. I have written beside their names their degree of loyalty to Your Excellency, their ability next to that, and a conjecture of their relationship with Hardlett next to that.」
Kenneth lets out a "hoh" in admiration at the skilled work done in spite of the formation of the inspection team being known for a few hours.
「If you're so proficient, I'm worried that the next attack will be by your hands. Try to act a little flustered.」
Talger respectfully lowers his head.
「Good work. But......this can be saved for later.」
Kenneth sets aside the document with candidates from his own faction after only a quick scan.
「Right. This is what you want.」
Talger hands him a second sheet.
The members on this document are different from the first――they are neutral personnel not associated with any faction.
「Count Himaetz and Count Fiche are fine, but Lord Serito is appointed and has no post. Isn't he a somewhat underqualified?」
「But when Baron Hemen was suspected of tax evasion, he led the kingdom's taxation department. I think he should be kept as a candidate for a task like inspection.」
Kenneth nods in acknowledgement of the reasoning.
「We can hound Hardlett as much as we want and Radhalde can protect him as much as he wants, but in the end we can not exceed the 30% allotted. What's important is if we can get the neutral party on our side, whether it's through expensive gifts or through the good offices of beneficial marriage talks――」
「Or we can investigate their weaknesses.」
Kenneth nods at Talger's suggestion.
「It's alright if you don't find anything. Just do it for every potential candidate.」
Kenneth sighs after giving the order.
「The investigation team leader――Marquess Bulga Fitton, it would be nice if we could win him over.」
「Unfortunately, we can't do anything to him. If we move carelessly, he will report it to the king as an unjust act.」
The two grumble in annoyance.
National Affairs Minister Bulga Fitton.
The minister of national affairs is a minister whose duties range from assisting the king in his daily life to organizing and facilitating official ceremonies and meetings.
As someone in a position directly connected to the king's everyday activities, it can be said that he holds extremely high authority and has the highest rank among ministers.
「Under the rule of a king who has no interest in politics, you can say he's the one wielding the power......except His Majesty has the opposite personality. If the king is going to decide everything, the minister of national affairs is as good as an errand boy.」
「Although he has the authority, he essentially has no real power. So giving up on persuading him at this stage will have an impact later?」
Kenneth shakes his head.
「Marquess Fitton's character is also trouble. He isn't very selfish, he has no ambition, and is excessively cautious. He's satisfied with being a minister even in appearance only and has become a cog in the king's machine. There isn't much we can do.」
「I suppose it means the king's eyes are certain.」
The two contemplate a solution briefly and their eyes narrow as they come to a realization.
「Maybe it's time I use Reval.」
「Yessir, I recommend it. Let's put the blame on him while he rampages and aim to capture the neutral faction while everyone is distracted.」
He lowers his voice to a whisper.
「A gold mine is rumored to be hidden deep in the mountains――if discovered and confiscated, Hardlett's finances will greatly decline.」
「Umu, the rest will take care of itself once it's discovered. Reval will go wild in the king's name and take the fall. Ideally he would be cut down on the spot by an enraged Hardlett......but I don't think he's that stupid.」
The two men talk about the plot through the night.
At The Same Time - Military Commissioner Office.
「It must have been bad timing and bad luck. If you really think about it, there's no way Hardlett could have put together such a complicated scheme. Besides, he's not the kind of guy who carries around grudges from a month ago. He'd even forget what happened a day ago.」
Erich says to his trusted aide Cedric as he rests his elbow on the desk.
「Still, when I heard about the attack on Mozadier, I thought that guy lost his temper and did something absurd. Ironically, the incident in the Ernes residence cleared it up. He would never drag ladies in his massacre.」
「I presume only ladies were unharmed.」
Cedric and Erich can still afford to smile.
Erich had lost all suspicion of Hardlett after hearing the details of the attack on the traditional nobles.
On the other hand, there was no time to talk before the king's summons, and if they met openly after the inspection was announced, they might be suspected of colluding, so he decided to play it safe.
「Either way, inspections are a hassle. That idiot might unknowingly hang a forbidden item near the entrance. You will find it first and hide it. If Hardlett objects, tell him it's a royal decree and do the search against his will.」
「Yessir, I will ensure to the best of my ability that it ends uneventfully.」
Erich drops his shoulders when he sees Cedric salute.
「I don't think that's possible. Knowing him, he's probably got a mountain of problems, intentional or not. Ignore the trivial problems......let them make a fuss about it so you can deal with the bigger issues.」
「Y-you think it will be that bad......?」
Erich nods to the bewildered Cedric.
「Don't be misled because he's a different person on the battlefield. Treat all the numbers written on documents as random. Search all the bedrooms from top to bottom, he might be hiding someone's wife or daughter naked. The likelihood is high that the chief or governor of each village is one of his mistresses too. And pay attention to illegal slave trade, there's a possibility he took all the females and made them his lovers.」
「Y-yessir.」
Erich turns away from the astounded Cedric and sighs.
「Dammit. He's probably forgotten about the inspection already and is on top of some girl......when this is all over, I'm barging into his territory and getting him to throw me a sumptuous feast. I'll also stare at his wife's breasts.」
「Huh?」
Cedric's expression of disbelief caused Erich to cough violently.
————————————————————————————————————-
Capital - Main Street.
I am returning to the mansion after buying enough alcohol to fill both arms.
Because Dorothea and the children are the ones living in the capital, the supply of alcohol stored there is low.
On the way back, I hear rumors that I don't ask to hear.
「Apparently the one behind the incident is――」
「It can't be! But, to cause a ruckus in the capital where security is tight――」
A man dressed like a knight and a man dressed like a merchant are conversing.
They can't see my face with the bottles in my arms blocking the way.
「It's that person's temper. If the story about the fight is true, I can imagine him doing that.」
「He is widely considered to be the strongest in Goldonia――as a soldier, I can see how the guards are no match.」
Two housewives whisper to each other.
「It's a free-for-all in the south it seems. If it becomes bigger......」
「Stop it. We've finally achieved peace.」
A young couple operating a street stand is saying whatever they want.
「That's not true.」
I set down the bottles, hug the wife and steal her lips.
「Eh? Aah!?」
I slip my tongue into the mouth of the wife who gasped as she saw my face and also grab her waist, pressing my dick against her crotch.
I release her after a 30 second kiss and pick up the bottles to go home.
「Dear, Lord Hardlett is innocent. Everything is a misunderstanding. Don't spread any strange rumors. I'm going to take a quick toilet break.」
「H-hey, why are you bringing a bamboo shoot with you?」
I feel a cool breeze when I arrive at the mansion even though it's spring.
Normally there would be a person introducing themselves as a merchant or a knight whenever they hear I'm coming to the capital, but I don't see anybody this time. News should have circulated all throughout the city.
「I guess this happens sometimes.」
Nevertheless, the house is warm inside.
It's because I am welcomed home by Dorothea and the orphans.
Those young kids who are speaking awkwardly must be newly adopted.
I did tell Dorothea she could take in as many as she wanted so long as they fit in the mansion.
「My my, you bought so much wine.」
「It will last me one week. His Majesty told me not to return to my territory before the investigation team is dispatched.」
The formation of the investigation team will take some time.
In order to prevent a cover-up, I am stuck in the capital.
Of course, the guards will also stop any communication from the territory to the mansion.
「That's why I'm counting on you.」
「Got it. Going back, back to the west.」
After I tie a scribbled letter onto the foot of a harpy, she shakes her head up and down.
I'll pretend I didn't hear a hollow rattling.
「It's south. Now go.」
「Pih!」
The harpy climbed to the roof with nimble steps and then took flight.
From a distance, it didn't look any different from a large bird. With that, contact with the territory is complete.
「The only things I absolutely have to keep hidden are Catherine and Sekrit. The gold mine is about money in the end, and whatever happens when it gets discovered, happens.」
「Errr......」
An uncertain Dorothea doesn't know how to respond.
She must also have heard the rumors being shared in the city.
「W-well it's easier on me with fewer visitors.」
She is being considerate.
「It doesn't really bother me. I'll just have a nice long drink.」
I'm sitting in the living room, brushing the head of an orphan and leisurely enjoying an evening drink until――
「Kyaa!?」
Dorothea's scream brings me back to my senses, where I am pinning her down on the bed in the bedroom.
「T-the sun is still up――wait, the kids!!」
I was certainly more in the mood for a drink and not sex.
I smile and do not apologize――and make Dorothea's chest area bare as I hold onto her arms.
「Everyone, go outside!」
She hurries the tottering children out of the room.
「What's the matter!? You suddenly――!」
Sorry sorry. Have a drink and calm down first.
I think to myself as I reach under her skirt to pull down her underwear, spread her legs, and lay myself on top of her.
「Please――wait! 47 is past the age......wait, contraception! My monthly cycle, which was on the verge of stopping, is regular again, so I'll get pregnant if you――」
I restrain her struggling arms and bring our groins together.
「Don't......put it......in......uu......uugh!」
The bed begins to creak as I stare into Dorothea's eyes.
「So deep......and rough! Consider......my age......aahii!!」
「Was the body of this woman past her prime at least a little bit useful?」
Dorothea asks softly as she wipes me down.
Her body is sweaty and covered in kiss marks, which are even in spots visible with her clothes on.
How can I apologize to her for what I've done?
「You don't have to. I won't do anything. I will just comfort you like this......so please don't make such a scary face.」
Dorothea's arms wrap around my head and caress me like a baby.
It's truly pleasant. She makes me feel just as spoiled as when Mel does it.
I knew it, the best women to spoil you are older ones.
No wait, it also feels good when Celia does it, so it might not matter who it is as long as they're a loving woman.
Let's partake in a little sweet pillow talk here.
「Dorothea, what is the basement of the mansion like?」
「The basement? It is used as food storage, but the door is large and light can shine through, so it's pretty safe. The kids sometimes go there when playing hide-and-seek.」
That's no good then.
「I'll think about it.」
「A-again!? In this sleeping position......uuu, it went in so easily.」
I lie Dorothea face down and mount her from behind.
I suck on her neck as she screams and ignore the eight pairs of eyes peeking through the small gap of the door as I swing my hips.
One Week Later. Hardlett Territory.
The departure date of the investigation team was decided, and I returned safely to my territory, but there was no one to greet me.
I'm not being ignored.
The entire house is being turned upside down with all the frenzied clamoring.
「Burn this document. Throw it in an open fire instead of the fireplace, then use it to fertilize the field at the back.」
Adolph is sitting in the office. That's my seat.
「Please order Claire-san to suspend operations for half of the workers in Lintbloom. As for the gold nugget scheduled to be transported......it's a waste, but it can't be helped. Let's bury it in the wasteland off the road. Concealment of the gold mine is the highest priority. Eeh, you still have that idiot's fake money!? When he comes back, feed it......ahem. Let's toss it in a nearby pond.」
「Who are you calling an idiot!?」
I barge into the office, and while holding Adolph up by the neck, I bite down on a gold coin left on the desk in irritation.
「Please don't get in the way! There is not much time until the investigation team comes!」
「Fumu. I thought I told you earlier.」
I lower Adolph and he immediately gives out instructions left and right as he fixes his collar.
「If you told me now, I might have no other choice than to burn the entire mansion down to hide everything. To that point, I appreciate that you didn't do that. However, an investigation without limit on the whole region is too broad. We don't know where and what they will find, so we don't have any leeway!」
Remembering something, Adolph runs out of the office.
I guess it's better if I don't bother with him for now.
As I roll the object around in my mouth, having nothing better to do, Nonna comes running, her boobs bouncing up and down.
Her maid chases after her from behind.
「This necklace is a masterpiece with 500 gold! It's going to be taken in to be investigated for sure!」
「Please calm down, madam! You certainly purchased it at that price, but it is worth 50 gold at the most, don't worry!」
「Nonna-sama, please don't hide your precious belongings under the bed and behind the cabinet. Those places will be searched first.」
I don't think they will examine luxury goods, so there is no need to hide jewels.
「This necklace is a gift from a merchant in the capital who wishes for a recommendation letter. Since I accepted, I better go to Aegir-sama's office and write up a document.」
Isn't that bad?
Something makes a crack sound in my mouth as I bite down on it.
「That might be bad......a hiding place, a hiding place......eeh.」
Maruru panics and ends up shoving the necklace into Nonna's cleavage.
Well, I'm sure no investigation officer would dare to stick their hands in there. I'd kill them if they did.
「Nonna-sama, what should we do with this jewel?」
「Hiiii......I forgot about that one!」
I think they'll be fine here.
Outside the window, Myla is doing her daily rounds――or pretending to do so while actually carrying out cannons and catapults with a cloth covering them.
A cave where monsters have been spotted is in that direction, so she's probably going to hide the weapons there.
「Ahem. You will respond to the rescue request from a remote village in the eastern frontier and exterminate monsters.」
This cute voice is Celia's.
Alongside her was......Christoph and Guigue.
「The trip is three days one way so I will give you a one-month portion of food. You don't have to come back. Feel free to die in the wild.」
I'm not going to let the investigation team lay eyes on these bad-looking men.
That was a little harsh of Celia though. Oh well.
I unconsciously swallow whatever is left in my mouth.
Wow, I actually ate a gold coin.
On the side, Melissa pulls Catherine by the hand and passes by quickly.
We're worried about you, so I'll tag along.
Catherine is someone that must be kept hidden no matter what.
If it gets discovered that I made her my wife, I will be charged with treason.
More importantly, Catherine and her children will certainly be executed.
The place they arrived at was the Chrysanthemum-opening Garden.
This shop can be considered the only special shop among the many brothels in Rafen.
All the employees are men――of course, there are other shops employing male prostitutes, but the prostitutes of this place do business with men instead of women.
Furthermore, the men working there are hairy beasts with no intention of looking feminine and simply dressing in female clothing.
I don't want to go inside, but this time is an exception.
「Madam. It's about 'that'.」
「Preparations are done. Come this way.」
Madam Gonzales leads Catherine, Rose, and two other children to a building.
「Aooooh!! Thick! It's too thick!!」
「Oooh! More, give me more! My ass is burning!」
Disgusting roars can be heard from the rooms on the left and right.
That's going to be bad education for the kids.
「Over here.」
Madam Gonzales lets Catherine and the children into a room in the basement.
No one will look in the basement of a brothel, right......I still feel a little anxious about it.
「Gufu, there is a hidden room here.」
Madam Gonzales knocks on the wall and the floor opens up.
「It's a hidden room that me and my friends have been digging little by little ever since we came to Rafen. Our accumulated money, our precious memories, and our friends being chased...... all of it is hidden here.」
The inside is fairly spacious and has a complete set of household goods, plus food and water, so it appears to be livable for a short period of time.
「Madam, Aegir-san and Catherine's lives are on the line, so let me raise some doubts, if you don't mind. Won't your friends who helped create this leak the information?」
Madam grins when Melissa asks the question.
「The unity of okamas is stronger than steel. We do not suspect the bond we have with each other. It's the only certainty in this world where heartlessness and injustice prevail.」
Madam speaks in a deeper voice, unlike the usual falsetto.
Now if only he could do something about that pink negligee.
Madam puts his arms around Catherine and her son, who is holding a wooden sword in a defensive stance, and tries to reassure them.
「If anybody still tries to break in......」
The muscles on Madam's arm bulge and he lifts up a morning star.
「I'll make them run away with the pride of an okama. So don't worry.」
The other okamas of the shop gathered behind before I realized.
「We were forced out of our hometown and our country.」
「We stick together in order to live.」
「In other words, we are brethren!」
「We're not.」
They ignore Catherine's retort and lower the family into the basement.
「Let me know if the investigation comes. Just in case, I have another plan.」
「What do you mean?」
Madam and Melissa continue the conversation.
「I am going to host the "Mass Digging and Eruption Festival" here to coincide with that day.」
「I-I see. A man's jet......a team consisting of just nobles can't stay long......that might be a good idea!」
(Wait!! It's not going to leak over here, right!? We won't smell or hear anything, right!?)
I hear a muffled scream from Catherine from the basement.
「It'll be fine. The soundproofing is perfect.」
(If it was perfect, you wouldn't hear me right now!!)
Anyways, this will keep Catherine safe.
Next is the non-humans.
「Alright everyone. We'll be going to a faraway pond until summer~」
Mirumi leads her children and swims upstream in the water canal.
The investigation team won't search inside the pond, I'm sure they'll be fine.
「What about Lammy in the courtyard?」
「She went into a nearby forest.」
Lammy rarely eats humans and there aren't any dangerous monsters in the forest.
I'll go retrieve her once things calm down.
「Uuu......my pride as an elf......this weird clothing......」
「You're wearing it, that's better than how you usually look. Don't you normally throw your top and bottom off!?」
Natia and Felteris walk by in strange costumes.
It seems the elves decided to disguise themselves as entertainers.
They look no different to humans except their ears so it's easy for them to hide in groups.
「Hey!」
I was kicked in the leg at the same time the beautiful voice called out.
The impact from the small leg had enough power to bring me to my knees......
「Brynhildr......」
Brynhildr is wearing a maid outfit.
There certainly won't be any problems for vampires who dislike sunlight if they pretend to be servants and remain inside the mansion.
Her usual luxurious attire isn't odd, but she won't be able to answer when asked which noble family she is from.
「There are plenty of problems! Asking me to act like a servant, do you want to go to the other world?」
I say one thing to Brynhildr as she reaches a hand out to my neck.
「Such cuteness. Combining the already beautiful Brynhildr with maid clothes is unbelievably tasteful......」
I kneel down and take her hand, then kiss it softly as I turn my eyes up at the befuddled Brynhildr.
「......well, I guess I can put up with it this time. Go solve your human problems while I still have patience.」
Brynhildr sucks on my lips, bites down on my neck to draw out some blood, and then skips off.
Like that, she looks just like an enthusiastic young maid, so I'm sure she won't be found out.
「By the way, what happened to Pochi?」
I think it'll be laborious to hide that massive body.
「Pochi's over there......」
A maid points with a stiff face.
Upon closer examination, I see Pochi sitting by the entrance and looking ahead.
Because he's probably stayed in the same pose for a long time, its face is slightly cramping and its forelegs are trembling.
「I see, he looks just like a giant lizard statue. No one will notice the difference.」
「Eeh......」
I continue asking the worried maid.
「What about Casie? It'll be problematic if someone in the investigation team can see her.」
「Someone said the best place to hide a tree is in a forest, so she was left in the cemetery. Ever since that day, I've been hearing wailing night after night.」
「I'll go get her.」
She's probably crying in fear.
On the way to the cemetery, I encounter Celia and Myla who are back from their jobs.
「Lord Hardlett!!」
「Aegir-samaaa!」
I embrace both of them tightly.
「Sorry I didn't come back. You did well.」
Celia lets out a squeal of delight while Myla silently buries her face in my chest.
「It's alright now. Is there anything I can do?」
「「No.」」
Oh I see, that's good.
「There is something bothering me though.」
The two of them exchange looks.
「I just hid the cannons in the cave......but the few field artillery which broke during training and are being repaired have gone missing. The repair shop said they were delivered yesterday, yet the garrison says nothing has been received.」
「A similar thing happened to me when I went through the weapons storage, the number of crossbows and special explosives mixed by Sekrit-san don't match what the inventory lists.」
I see.
「Let's investigate that later. For now, let's focus on ensuring nothing suspicious is discovered.」
「「Yes!」」
At that moment, a horse comes running.
「The investigation team has entered our territory! They will be staying in the northern village of Salaedo today!」
「Understood. By the way, where is Leopolt fooling around?」
「He led a number of troops to patrol the territory to prevent the investigation team from pointing out an overabundance in the army.」
Okay, good, that's perfect.
There's nothing guilty about that.
Appears:
Erich (defence), Kenneth (offense), Adolph (up in flames), Myla (hiding), Celia (hiding), Leopolt (patrolling)
Nonna (hiding in a cabinet), Catherine (super anxious), Madam Gonzales (big jet)
Pochi (lizard statue), Mirumi (released), Lammy (grazing in pasture), Brynhildr (skipping), Casie (wailing)
Territory Population
Total: 375 000
Rafen: 49 000, Lintbloom: 7 500.
Richemott (former Libatis): 40 000, Zwei Elfie: 4500
Army Personnel:
???
Sexual Partners: 831
Children who have been born: 71 + 567 (++)
Current Location: Rafen