Chapter 49: Resolve
"Sister, what's going on?"
Hours later, when the moon was high in the sky and darkness had enveloped the land, Jean was the only one left in Joan's tent.
"What do you mean by that. Jean?"
"Don't lie to me, sister. Why did Leonel say that the Archbishop had given him a mission?"
When Joan heard Jean emphasize the word Archbishop, her pupils constricted. That was right, Leonel had said Archbishop, but all of the commanders beneath her command referred to him as the Bishop. It was an incredibly small detail, but it was a detail someone as intelligent as Jean would never let slip by.
Did this Leonel do it on purpose? There were others just as intelligent as Jean under her command, it's just that only Jean was close enough to her that he would confront her like this. Or rather, it could be said that their relationship...
Jean's arm wrapped firmly around Joan's slender waist, holding her tightly to his body.
"Jean." Joan said somewhat furiously, her glare seeming to hold an indescribable power behind them.
"I thought our relationship was better than this." Jean said with narrowed eyes, meeting her fierce gaze. "Do you think I'm a fool? What death mission did that bastard send Leonel on?"
"Jean! Watch your mouth —!"
She was about to scold him fiercely for his act of blaspheming the Bishop, but a pair of rough lips had covered her own, completely stifling her attempt.
"Joan, you are my woman. I don't know if this person you follow is really God or not, but this is one thing that I most definitely do know."
To these words, Joan's reaction was unexpected. Her gaze seemed a bit dim, it was completely unlike a woman who was supposedly in love. It was as though she was resigned to her fate.
However, the situation was simply too odd. Joan's standing was clearly higher than Jean's, so obviously it wasn't possible for him to force her into such a relationship. Whether it was backing or individual strength, she left him behind by far. It could only be said that their relationship was almost impossible to understand.
"Joan, you are a woman too shackled by responsibility and the imaginary. You realize just as I have that there is no God in this world. Or, at the very least, even if there is one, it is most definitely not the God we grew up worshiping. Since things have reached such a level, why do you still allow yourself to be tied down?"
Seeing that Joan still seemed to have no intention of responding, Jean released her. Though there were flames lighting his loins right now and he also knew that Joan wouldn't resist if he took her to bed now, he didn't want to touch her when her eyes were so vacant.
"Do you know the reason I've allowed you to stay by that Bishop's side all this time despite my being certain that he was just using you? It's for no other reason than that I wanted you to see it for yourself. Would you have listened to me had I said it earlier?
"But now you've seen it for yourself. He has no qualms about tricking a kind soul like Leonel. In that case, what do you think he would be willing to do to you?"
There was finally a change in Joan's expression. A wisp of complexity and sadness pervaded her gaze. However, no matter how she searched, she really couldn't find an answer.
God was an important part of her life. This was something ingrained in her from youth. It simply wasn't possible to separate herself from that lofty entity.
How much pain had she suffered in her life? She was nothing but a teenage girl, yet she was leading groups of men in battle. How much burden was laid upon her shoulders? No one really knew but herself.
But wasn't that what faith was? Wouldn't her pain be repaid in the end? This was nothing more than a test of her resolve.
Joan's gaze became firm once more.
'This will be the last. This is the last test. Then, I'll be laid to rest and enter the Heavenly Gates...'
The times she had to go against her conscience? That was simply a test of her loyalty. The times others suffered due to the choices she made? That was simply the test of their loyalty. The world was that simple to Joan.
The God she had known in her youth, maybe he really didn't exist. But, there was a new God before her now, and he was real and tangible. She had seen it with her own eyes, the kind of power he wielded, the kind of power he could bestow.
'Bishop! I won't let you down!'
Despite seeing Joan's gaze regain their light, there was no happiness on Jean's face. In fact, the smile he held faded. And, seeing this, it was Joan instead who smiled.
"Jean."
Joan's voice was so soft that Jean felt that his knees lost their strength. Under the dull lights of the flickering candle light, she heard the clang of armor drop to the floor and a slender hand slip into his. He had hardly reacted by the time he noticed that he was being led toward Joan's bed.
It wasn't long before a softness that made his mind go blank enveloped him.
"Make me forget for another night." Joan placed her lips to Jean's ear, standing on the very tips of her toes as the last of her clothes fell to the ground.
Her hot breath carried a moisture with it that spread an uncontrollable warmth throughout his body. At that moment, he seemed to have completely forgotten about his complex emotions and envelped Joan's soft bottom in his large hands, lifting her up from the ground and piercing through her without reserve.
A spine tingling moan was barely muffled as she bit down on his neck. Like a young girl swaying in the sea, she accepted all Jean had to give, holding onto his neck with her seemingly weak arms.
With each powerful stroke, the lust and resolve in her eyes grew.
But she had no idea that her 'God' had already died.