Chapter 246: Shadow, Beautiful Color

***Arc 10 One Who Doesn't Acknowledge, Chapter 246 Shadow, Beautiful Color***

The battle with Elsren.

She wanted to accompany him to the battlefield――that was what she begged her father for.

'In general, it can be said that effort is something that should be respected. Effort itself is valuable. ...Even if you don't get results, your efforts will serve as fuel for your next endeavor. That's why, if you have a goal, you should first strive to achieve it rather than thinking about it. The results will become clear eventually, and there is value in continuing to work hard.'

However, my father dismissed this as the logic of the people.

'Once you stand on the battlefield as a soldier, effort has no value whatsoever. ...All that is needed is a result, only victory. This is because soldiers who do not bring back results are not given the opportunity to think about what's next. It would be fine if that person were the only one who died when they made stupid mistake, but his own defeat will threaten the lives of his comrade and the people he is supposed to protect.'

His eyes were one that was ready to kill.

He was a kind father, but before a father, he was a warrior and the leader who commanded the warriors.

When it came to dealing with soldiers, he always showed a stern and strict demeanor to Selene.

'Effort is only natural, but it is not worthy of praise. Soldiers who cannot produce results on the battlefield are not needed, and of course, such commanders are also unnecessary. Whether it's a hard-working but incompetent or lazy but competent one, there's no room for consideration, the latter is the one that is needed. A person who cannot show results is not needed in my army... That includes you as well.'

"...!'

'You are my prided daughter. You're talented, and also smart. You has come this far through hard work and no arrogance. Considering your age, you are an outstanding talent, one that is rare to find. ――However, compared to our corps commanders, you are far too weak, immature, and lacking in stability, and your overall ability, including experience, is inferior to even my battalion commanders. If one look at your ability calmly without considering the age, your ability is in the end just at that level.'

His words were decisive, allowing no room for rebuttal, an oppressive force.

His father was loved, revered, and feared by his men.

The strongest in the surrounding countries――Christand the Lightning and his subordinates are the undisputed heroes of the kingdom, the sword and shield of the kingdom that can never be defeated.

As such, her father did not allow any slack in his army.

Even if the other party was Selene, if he judged that he could not use her, he would not hesitate to discard Selene Christand as a soldier.

She knew that her father, more than anyone else, was a man who valued his duty as a soldier.

That's why she felt pride in that more than anyone else.

'Once you step onto the battlefield, there's no turning back if you choose that path. Excuses and complaints are never allowed. I won't show favoritism just because you're my daughter. If you prove to be incompetent on the battlefield, I'll consider you unfit as a soldier and permanently expel you from the army... Understand that and, I'll ask you once again. Do you intend to accompany us even so?'

Selene looked straight at Bogan and placed her right palm on her left chest.

With a crisp heel click, she straightened her posture and saluted.

'Yes, father. ...I swear by my name, I will definitely help you. Please allow me to accompany you.'

The hero――Bogan Christand caught Selene with his eyes as sharp as a hawk and nodded.

'...Understood. The Christand Army, appoint you as the adjutant general. Fulfill duties beyond your position.'

Bigan responded to Selene by sticking his right thumb to his left chest.

It was hard to express how he felt at that moment.

It was his first salute to Selene as a soldier.

It was the first time in her life that she felt acknowledged by his father.

'What a stubborn girl. Whether it's Lazura and or Bery, I wonder if it's Argan blood.''

Her father let out an exasperated sigh and sat down on the sofa.

'However, since you have sworn as a noble, I won't allow you to retract it. If you want to be a soldier, always show results. If you are criticized because you are my daughter, then show the surrounding people your ability that will silence them. At least, I see that you have the potential to do so. I had no doubt in my eyes, and you need to prove it through your actions.'

'Yes. I will definitely show results. I won't let you be ashamed, Father.'

For military personnel, results are everything.

Those were the words her father valued above all else.

These were words that Selene should value above all else, as long as she kept that, Selene will remain as her father's daughter even after he was gone.

'――Then, I will always protect you.'

Swinging a sword for someone, protecting everything.

As long as she did that, as long as she kept doing that――Selene felt proud as her father's daughter.

Selene stepped into a world where results, not effort, mattered.

There was no room for excuse for Selene Christand.

The soft touch of the bed――she opened her pale eyes wondering what she was doing.

There was still some fighting going on in the west, albeit on a small scale.

But Selene was in the estate, lazily rolling around on the bed.

'You have a terrible face. ...If I may be rude to say this as a soldier, Selene-sama is in danger right now. Don't push yourself too hard now.'

Because she couldn't do anything, and they sent her away.

It wasn't that Kolkis bad. He was just a proper military man.

The fault lies with Selene.

'――What am I doing' she thought repeatedly.

She didn't help Kreschenta or Krische.

She couldn't even handle the role given to her as a marshal.

And in the meantime, Bery died.

As an older sister, as a soldier, as the head of the family――Selene show no results whatsoever.

On the contrary, she ended up holding her back.

Like that, she had no value.

'Bery is here, so it's fine. In preparation, Krische will create a world where Bery and the others can live in peace. With that, from now on...''

She tried to stop Krische, but the Krische somehow brought Bery back.

Krische never broke her promise.

If she said she would do it, she would definitely show results.

And she without trusting Krische, tried to stop her

Results is everything――if Selene had believed her, she might have been able to come up with a proposal that would give her the best possible safety measures.

Just because it was an unknown territory like the soul, and just because it was impossible based on common sense, those were no excuse.

If she hadn't gotten emotional at that moment and thought logically, she might have been able to at least hold her back until Kreschenta arrived.

At least Cliche had some kind of conviction, and she acted on it.

That was why she was able to bring back results.

She didn't think Krische was sure she would succeed, there were always risks in her choices.

Even if there were risks, she could have made time to time to weigh them against the results, and if the risks was made clear, even if she couldn't stop her, Krische might have listened to her.

――Or perhaps that was just what she thought she could do.

All Selene wanted was for Krische to accept her death.

To Selene, Bery was already dead.

Even if Krische was able to lead to the optimal solution, even if Krische wanted to save Bery even at the risk of her life, even if Krische was at her top condition, it was questionable whether Selene would have sent her.

In the end, Selene would have stopped her, fearing the possibility of losing Krische as well.

At the very least, she was sure she couldn't accept the risk of losing Krische.

For that reason, she must have thought that Bery should remain dead.

"...I wonder, why was it you?"

What would Bery have done if she were in Selene's position?

The more she thought about it, the dirtier she felt.

Selene was sure Krische would still tried to save her even if it was Selene instead of Bery.

But Selene was also sure Bery would have been able to calm Krische down in such a situation.

'――That's trivial. ...As I've said before, Krische-sama is not that kind of person...and that's what I love about her.'

If Krische had found a solution, she would took the risk――but in the end, no matter how she felt, Bery, for Selene's sake, for what Krische wished for, would have sent Krische.

She had been watching Bery since she was born.

She had always admired her.

So she could imagine it with confidence.

'――Fumbling, clumsily, but working harder than anyone else... I wanted to dedicate my life to that Krische-sama. ...Please forgive me.'

She was sure from that moment on, Bery had accepted all of Krische, accepted all of her choices, and was determined to love her.

There was not a single stain in Bery's love.

A secret name was just a word.

But she thought that was what it means to offer your secret name――your true Mana (Trues Name).

Precisely because it was Bery's Mana, there was meaning in it.

Selene had no doubt in her mind that Krische loved her.

If Selene was in danger, as Bery said, Krische would try to save her despite the risks.

Selene loves her too.

However, it was different from the pure love that Bery had.

Selene's love was nothing more than 'affection', not the unquestionable 'Love' for clichés that Bery had.

The hopeless feeling of inferiority that she felt toward Bery must have stemmed from this.

She accepted that she couldn't help but be jealous, because she knew subconsciously.

The reason Bery was able to break free Krische's and Kreschenta's heart, the reason she was able to give so much, the reason she was able to win their trust――was because it was Bery.

――I leave Krische-sama to you.

Serene was not qualified to accept those words.

The brilliance that dwells inside the magic crystal is infinitely beautiful, when she was told that it was Bery's soul, she thought it made sense.

Selene thought that if souls existed, Bery's soul must be infinitely beautiful, and she was sure the same goes for Krische and Kreschenta.

But, Selene's must be different.

"...I am different from all of you."

Create eternity, Krische said.

A paradise where no one can threaten them――an world steeped in childish ideal.

However, she was confident that Krische would be able to pull it off.

Krische's definitely, is absolute.

Even with the inevitable death, she was able to overcome it.

So Krische would obtain paradise.

Absolutely, without a doubt.

Selene didn't have the confidence to keep up with it.

The paradise world created by pure things would be an endless hell for Selene.

She didn't want to spend the rest of her eternity as a cloudy foreign object――She didn't want to spend her eternity being shown that she was different from them.

Even then, they would love Selene.

With pure, gentle love forever.

Slowly, strangling Selene's neck with cotton wool――until someday, Selene could no longer bear it anymore.

"...Why, am I like this?"

She muttered, her vision becomes blurred and she presses her face to the pillow it, staining it.

She felt like a pathetic and weak person.

If it was Bery, she would have said that she would follow them anywhere

If that's what her loved one wished, she wouldn't hesitate.

'Why, couldn't she be like that', Selene thought

All that came out of her mouth was a helpless whimper.

She felt so pathetic that she wanted to die right now, and she just hated herself for not being able to proudly hold her heart high.

Even though the castle was left empty for just one day, there seemed to be some commotion, but Elvena, quick-witted as she was, conveyed that Kreschenta was unwell and resting.

There was also a pillar of light that appeared when she teleported――some might thought that Kreschenta was up to something, but it was in the middle of the night.

Only the guards had witnessed it, and although there have been reports, there weren't many people who would connect it to Kreschenta.

Rumors were known that the servant who had been by her side had died, and her absence the day before did not amount to much of a commotion.

Everyone went about their business as usual and returned to the estate.

"...She's still sulking?"

"...Kreschenta, please don't say it like that. It's Krische who is bad."

She saw that her sister was not in the room and went to the kitchen.

There was Krische in an apron dress staring at the food on the tray.

The meal was probably Selene's. It was untouched.

Approaching, Kreschenta took the soup plate, sat on the table, and began to eat without a word.

Krische looked at Kreschenta with a hint of reproach, but she remained silent without saying anything.

At least, Krische was certain that Selene wouldn't be eating today.

"It's been a while since I've tasted Onee-sama's cooking. It's delicious."

"...Shall Krische reheat it?"

"It's fine. I'm used to cold food."

With that, Kreschenta placed the pumpkin soup she had finished eating on the table and stroked Krische's cheek.

It wasn't until she came to Christand that she started eating hot meals on a daily basis.

The food was cold, but it didn't really bother her since that's what royal meals are all about.

Of course, warm food tastes better, but she didn't feel like asking for it in this situation.

"...Does Crescenta understand?"

"For the most part...It's not like Selene-sama is angry at Onee-sama."

"Then, why is――"

"Selene-sama is a troublesome person."

Kreschenta said, pulling her sister closer to her.

She then sat down in a chair and sat Krische on her knees.

"That kind of person usually has rules. "

"...Rules?"

"Yes. Like the duties of a noble or the great cause――something like that. Thee are rules inside them somewhere."

She took the magic crystal around Krische neck and looked at it.

"It's okay to kill someone as long as no one knows about it. If you think it's better to kill someone, you should do it. The punishment of the law is invalid unless it's exposed. ...But many people don't do that. Regardless of whether they are a coward who was afraid of killing someone or breaking the law, there are many people who don't choose that option.''

As if playing with it, as ifcaressing it.

Krische silently looked at her sister's hand.

"Such people invariably have their own rules, personal rules that they have decided to abide by no matter what the social situation is. ...The same goes for the phrase 'Swear on my name'. It's just a verbal promise, and it shouldn't matter if you break it, but many nobles keep it no matter how much of a disadvantage it may cause them.''

"...Swear on my name"

"That's right. In some cases, they would even choose death――or maybe it's something they have decided to protect no matter how much hardship they experience."

'What an idiot', Kreschenta said, wrapping her palms around the magic crystal.

Krische couldn't Kreschenta's expression.

"Of course, the extent to which these rules are followed varies from person to person, and the content of those rules also varies. That's probably why Selene-sama is the way she is right now. ...To me, that's ridiculous. Obsessed with such trivial things."

"...Kreschenta"

Krische called her name reproachfully, and 'It's a fact' Kreschenta replied.

"...It's a stupid obsession. It's nothing more than stubbornness."

Just like that, Kreschenta pulled out the magic crystal, along with the string, from her sister's neck and put it around her own neck.

When Krische tilted her head and looked back at her, Kreschenta continued.

"Even if Onee-sama think about it here, it won't get better. Onee-sama should go to Selene-sama and talk to her directly."

"Selene's room is locked...and also why is Bery?"

"Probably, it's better if Onee-sama doesn't wear it. Besides, why not just open the lock by yourself?"

"That's..."

"She won't scold Onee-sama. Selene-sama is not angry with Onee-sama."

After some thought, Krische nodded.

Then she jump off Kreschenta's lap.

"...Krische don't know if Krische understands exactly what Kreschenta means, but Krische do understand a little bit.... Krische'll talk to Selene again."

"Yes, take care."

Kreschenta said with a smile, and Krische also smiled.

"Krische will leave Bery to Kreschenta."

After repeating the words she didn't even know how many times have been repeated, Krische troted out of the kitchen.

Kreschenta, who was left behind, looked at the door for a while, then she lifted the magic crystal a little and looked at it.

She, only kept gazing at the radiance within.