Chapter 242: Epilogue (4)

I instinctively knew that in the future, I may have to live for quite a long time. Maybe an uncountable number of years.

I don't know why. I haven't even asked God yet. Is it because I didn't get to that world the right way in the first place? Maybe. I don't know if it happened because I was against the rules.

Me and the Roses are bound by one destiny. The long lifespan was the same for those tied to me. So, our choices may come with a harsh price, or on the other hand, it may be a paradise inside a fence.

God made no expression. Curiously, I thought that face was closer to God. Then God suddenly turned to me.

"Look over there."

This was a park. Sunny skies, green grass, colorful bricks, and roadside trees. In the surroundings, ordinary people are enjoying the park on a sunny day in their own way.

Of course, no one among them would have witnessed God's appearance change so quickly.

"What do you want me to see?"

God had no answer. I couldn't help but look at each and every one of them.

People passed in front of the benches we were sitting on. Each with a joyful, happy smile. Among them, there were some who seemed particularly happy and harmonious than others.

God tugged at my finger at that moment.

"There."

There? You want me to see those people? My gaze naturally stopped and looked at the smiling people.

It was a happy family of three, a married couple and an adult woman.

For some reason, the moment I saw them, my heart throbbed, albeit for a very short time. No. Rather than hurt.......

"They are your family."

I blinked. I heard that...... Of course, I couldn't remember.

"Now your family has no memories of you and your existence has been erased."

What I offered in return was all of my past. Not only memories but also my existence itself. There is no trace of 'me' living in this world. Because they all disappeared.

And I even sent the feelings of pain and bitterness in return. So, even if I saw them, I couldn't feel anything. I just felt a dull pain. This is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. On the one hand, I couldn't figure out why God had shown them to me.

"Why are you showing me this?"

My voice came out calmly.

"It was a choice that I didn't even give to you during the moment of parting. How about saying goodbye?"

Goodbye? Now, why? We don't even remember each other? God turned again as if knowing my heart.

"Is a goodbye without memories seem like a separation?"

I spoke calmly.

"Really? I don't think there is...... any meaning."

"I can't help it if you think so."

God lightly erased the smile.

"You in the past loved your family very much. It was the same for your family. It was a harmonious family where only pure souls gathered."

"......."

"Memories belong to the soul, and even if you take them away, it leaves a mark."

It was just a word of no importance.

Shiver. Tears flowed from my eyes. I can't understand. Why? My heart doesn't throb nor hurt.

"Just as death comes at the end of life, a knot is needed at the end of a kite. Say goodbye."

I looked at them at the a low whispering voice. The happily smiling family.

I suppose.

"To end it.......right."

I looked at my family for a while. Then I lowered my head and smiled slightly. Everything has been erased, but traces of it remain.

Now is the time to let go of those traces.

"I'm glad you look happy."

I don't remember it anymore, but if it was someone I really cherished, I didn't want them to get hurt because of me. As a result, paradoxically, it was a harsh but happy outcome for each other. Tears that remained flowed down once more.

A lot of words and thoughts passed inside.

After a while, I looked away.

The family, which had been harmonious, disappeared at the far end of the park before I knew it.

I didn't say anything or even say goodbye to them. Even so, a refreshing wind blew in my chest, as if there were mint leaves in it.

It was a bittersweet yet refreshing feeling.

"God."

God came into my eyes.

"It is not my fault that my world and my name were taken from me one day. But don't you think this kind of treatment is cruel?"

God laughed out loud. It's a smile that doesn't match the appearance of a high school student.

"Was it hard?"

I carelessly shook my head.

"It wasn't like that."

"Then do you resent the person who took you there by force?"

"...... Not even that."

To resent the person who took me there was like regretting the time I spent in the other world, and my ties with Ricdorian, Francia, and Lenag.

"Of course, to be honest, I think there were times like that. But not anymore."

I spoke plainly and blinked my eyes. I had something to say.

"Why do you have mercy on me?"

To be honest, the price I paid was unusually generous.

"You say I am merciful, but I think you are more merciful."

I hesitated for a while and said that.

God said it was harsh, but looking at it slowly, the price wasn't terribly harsh.

Lost memories, indifference remaining in a place where my existence was erased and no right to be hurt.

Lastly, going back to this place and specially allowing Ricdorian to come over together.

Looking back, all the price gave me only the stimulation I could endure. I've been guessing and thinking for a long time. Maybe ever since I came to this world, for a very long time.

"But you weren't actually showing mercy, were you?"

Then I came to a certain conclusion. In fact, maybe I shouldn't be crazy.

"Actually, I shouldn't be broken, right?"

God told me. Originally, I was not the rose of this generation and had to come over a longer period of time.

Roses were created to naturally destroy the fragments of the dead God.

According to the words, I originally had to go back to the other world later, and the fragment of God inside me had to be destroyed there.

"Looking back on everything, I wondered if my mind should be intact. You just didn't want me to go crazy."

I laughed lightly.

"Right?"

I wasn't 100 percent sure. However, the reasoning that started with speculation gained strength after being completed with logic.

"That's why you showed my family members for the last time right? So that there are no regrets."

God was silent. Then slowly started to speak.

"You're right. That's not all, though."

She cupped her chin and gently rubbed her cheek with her index finger.

"Actually, if you paid the right price, it's only right that you carry the pain for the rest of your life with your memories."

Her deep eyes came up to mine.

"But, as I said, not everything was a safeguard against your mind ruining. Yes....... I wish I could call it mercy, as you put it."

God's lips curved.

"Why did you do this?"

The answer to this came out neatly.

"Because I have already judged that going there against your will is like punishment."

"That's......"

I was speechless for a while.

"I cannot deny it."

Even if the result was happy, not all the process was happy. I acknowledged this. Having said this, I turned my head and looked at Ricdorian.

"Of course I am happy now. I have no regrets about my choice."

My partner who will be with me for a long time to come.

"I won't regret it."

The person who gave up everything without hesitation and chose me alone, and as a result, he was here.

Perhaps this is the only time when Ricdorian would spend the whole day alone with me like now.

"Now I am very happy."

I raised my head and looked at the sky. It was a blue sky. The sky was a good thing. Because blue skies will exist in this world and the other world.

"I will be happier in the future."

I didn't see God, but a small voice flowed from God's presence.

"I see."

I didn't know if God also felt emotions, regret and longing.

"It might be natural for the fragments of the dead God to follow the image of the God."

It seemed that there was remorse at the incomprehensible words, but I closed my eyes and pretended not to hear it.

After a while, before returning to the residence, God asked me.

"What will you do with the child?"

Knowing who the 'child' God asked was, I smiled instead of answering.

"I have to go see him."

***

"Ricdorian."

Currently, Rickedoran is terribly spiky. Spiky, an expression that did not suit this man at all, but there was no other way to express it.

Hmmm, he's pissed off? No, he's sulky.

Of course, he was the only one in the other world to show such a reaction.......

"Is it because I didn't go back right away?"

"Iana......."

He stopped. Then he turned around and stretched out his arm to me. As soon as his strong arms wrapped around my waist, he buried his face into the nape of my neck.

A low, deep exhalation tickled my throat.

"Don't go....... .alright?"

It was a mournful voice, as if sending a lover to a foreign country. I smiled awkwardly and rubbed his hair gently.

Instead of refusing my touch, he buried himself even more.

"Um, I'm already back."

I glanced at the store in front of me and said.

"And I have to go now. Okay? Ricdorian."

Then Ricdorian let out a low sigh and slowly moved away from me.

However, his face was that of a person who never wanted to separate from me. Knowing why he acted like this, I let out a faint smile.

Soon after, Ricdorian kissed my lips.

"Quickly."

"Yes. I'll come out quickly."

"Eight seconds......."

"Okay, I will keep that too."

Since it's a promise, I whispered softly and this time raised my toes and kissed him.

The problem is, Ricdorian got hot here and didn't just stop with a kiss. After patting him for letting me go, I entered the store in front of me.

It was a Saturday morning, but the interior was very quiet. It's a natural thing. They won't be doing business today. This was a small cafe. The cute yet antique interior is probably the taste of the person who manages this place.

I chose one of the seats where I could directly face the clerk, like the bar table, and sat down.

When I rested my chin and looked forward, I saw a person with his back turned in front of me. A long, slender silhouette, I've seen this back several times.

An apron over a neat shirt, and black pants with a good fit that matched the length of his legs. The man in a neat barista suit turned his back. Then he looked at me and opened his eyes wide. However, this soon turned into a smile as soft as milk.

"You're here?"

He strode this way. The black hair that covers the forehead, underneath the wavy hair like a shadow, has black eyes instead of the symbolic red eyes.

However, the moment he captured me in it, it gradually turned red, as if sparks would rise. Soon, ruby-like red eyes looked at me.

It was Chaser.