Chapter 218: From Thawing Heart To Winter's Chill

Asher took a moment to collect his thoughts as he realized that even if it was frustrating and wasn't the most effective way, he could do what Rowena asked with the help of Kira and probably a certain someone as well. And at least now he had Rowena's support on going after Rebecca.

Asher offered a comforting nod, a reassuring smile playing on his lips, "Don't worry," he started, his voice echoing the resolve in his gaze, "I'll do what you've asked of me."

The gratitude that swelled within Rowena was evident in the warmth that sparked in her eyes.

She looked at him, her gaze searing and sincere, "Thank you for understanding. For everything." She paused before adding, "My father took care of me well and taught me everything I know now. But I used to resent him for leading me to believe that I was destined to marry Oberon. But now..." her voice wavered slightly, "I no longer feel so because he led me to you."

Asher smiled warmly though inwardly, he knew her father surely did it with hidden motivations.

Rowena allowed the words to sink in as she recollected the past with a hint of nostalgia, "I am also glad my father didn't heed my pleas to reconsider the marriage. Back then, I could have never known."

A flash of memory lit up in Asher's mind, the image of a Rowena begging her father to rethink the marriage.

It was a stark contrast to the woman sitting across him now, at peace with her past. His brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to reconcile the Rowena from his memory with the one before him. If she wanted to marry him, why would she protest against it? Wait...why would she even want to marry a cripple?

Catching sight of his confusion, Rowena's hand found his, fingers interlocking in a soft hold. She couldn't help the smile that curved her lips as she continued, "I did want to marry you, Ash. It's just that... back then, I believed I was being selfish by making that choice."

Asher shook his head as he asked with a confused look, "What do you mean?"

The answer he received was not something he expected. "I couldn't shake off the feeling that you were suffering inside," Rowena confessed, her eyes filled with an unspoken torment and added, "Sometimes I wondered if you were really soulless or if...there was a soul stuck inside that body, helpless to do anything," Rowena also remembered Igrid telling her that Asher was better off dead.

But when she asked him why he said that, he only said that the worse thing than death was living without a soul. What Igrid said was something that still stuck with her in her mind.

'Heh...She really doesn't know...' Asher's veins rippled with cold rage as he remembered how everyone spat and stepped on him like trash as he laid there helplessly.

And the one he hated the most was her father, who let it all happen right under his eyes. Maybe the people were indeed right to think that her father took him in for amusement.

The only thing that prevented him from fully believing this was what her father said to him before he died and the strange way he died as well.

However, he didn't know what to think upon seeing how Rowena wasn't wrong about what she felt.

He realized now in that memory where she was urging her father to rethink the marriage was nothing but an indirect way of asking him to end his misery.

If he was really stuck inside a vegetable body, he would only feel glad if someone ended him rather than live a life of never-ending pain.

All this time, he had misunderstood the reason behind her saying that. He thought it was a normal reaction from a young girl who was being forced to marry a vegetable.

However, what he couldn't understand was why someone like her would care about a soulless cripple like him? Why would she care if he dies or lives?

Wait...Did this mean that...

The question that slipped out of his mouth next, however, was more out of curiosity than anything, "Did you... visit me during those years?" he asked, his voice unintentionally softer.

Rowena seemed to fumble for words, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.

It was an unusual sight, seeing the typically stoic queen flush with embarrassment. She confessed, "Yes, I did. At first, it was out of curiosity about your alien and mysterious origins and why my father brought you. But as time passed, I found myself... just wanting to talk to you...talking about things I can't tell anybody else," Rowena rubbed her left brow gently as she felt even more embarrassed revealing this to Asher.

Asher was blinking in surprise, not expecting him to be sort of Rowena's 'friend' even as a child.

Most of all, why couldn't he remember any of this?

Was this the reason why she was quite lenient with him when he first woke up despite trying to piss her off?

He did feel she was giving in to some of his demands at first without much hesitation. Was she fond of him even before he woke up?

Asher didn't know, but he just never saw this coming.

It was an intriguing revelation that made him wonder why his mind chose to keep this part of his past locked away. Were the painful memories so overpowering that they drowned out the others?

Asher softly chuckled as he asked, "Now I'm even more curious. What did you talk about? It must be something good for you to not tell me," He said with a teasing smile.

Rowena's response was just as unexpected as she averted her gaze with a faint reddish hue in her cheeks, "It seemed silly... What I did, what I talked about with you. I hoped you wouldn't remember," she confessed, her words just above a whisper.

"But when I woke up, I felt as if you were not that familiar with me," Asher remembered how cold and distant Rowena was during those days.

Rowena sighed as she said a soft curve of her lips, "I know...But that is because I didn't know how to talk to you. I never expected you to wake up suddenly, and the person you were at that time seemed quite different from how I imagined. You seemed angry and rebellious. And I didn't know if the soul that awakened in your body was the same as the one before. But now I am sure it has been you the entire time."

"You know," she continued in a voice barely above a whisper, her eyes filled with tenderness, "after my mother died, it was you who gave me strength."

Her gaze dropped to their entwined fingers, her thumb gently tracing circles on the back of his hand, "You were my pillar," she continued, her voice carrying a note of nostalgia, "even in your soulless state. When my father left me too, your presence gave me the fortitude to move forward. I felt... I wasn't alone."

Suddenly, in an act of raw emotion, she slowly enveloped Asher in a tight hug, burying her face in the crook of his neck, "I might not have understood it when I was younger," she confessed, "but now, I can tell... I have liked you, even before you woke up."

Her admission hung in the air, her words seeming to weave an enchanting spell around them, "Not a day went by," she added with a sigh, "where I didn't wish for you to wake up."

At her words, Asher's world seemed to come to a standstill. His mind, which was usually a well-organized fortress of thoughts and plans, was now in utter chaos.

An avalanche of memories buried deep in his subconscious burst forth, flooding his mind with images of Rowena in different stages of her life.

A younger version of Rowena, her bright eyes filled with innocence and wonder, came into focus.

She was animatedly sharing stories of her day with his motionless body, her laughter echoing around the room.

The stark contrast between her vibrant past and the reserved woman she had grown into would make anyone feel it was fascinating yet tragic.

The child grew up in his memories, her face maturing, the brightness in her eyes slowly being replaced with a layer of frost.

But even then, she was by his side, her soft voice narrating her dreams, hopes, and fears to his lifeless form.

Most of it involved her reminiscing about her mother and sometimes talking about her father, and very few times expressing her misgivings about Rebecca and Oberon.

But every single of those memories ended with her wishing for him to wake up.

As a child, she wished he would wake up so that they could play and have fun together. As a teenager, she wished he would wake up so that they could become stronger together. And as a queen, she wished she could end his suffering.

With every flashback, he felt his stone-cold heart twist and churn, a maelstrom of regret, guilt, and a surprising tenderness consuming him.

Even if he had only been together with Rowena for more than a year, these memories made him feel as if he had been with her for more than a decade, each memory making him feel as if he lived the entirety of it.

He unconsciously tightened his hold around Rowena, his fingers brushing against her soft hair, silent words echoing in the small gap between them.

In the middle of the storm brewing in his heart, he was wary of letting this tenderness consume him.

But a singular thought stood out - What if Rowena was different from Aira? What if she wouldn't betray him as Aira did?

As this thought took root in his mind, he felt a strange pull towards Rowena, a yearning he never expected to experience again.

Rowena, her eyes closed in contentment, felt his warmth surround her like a gentle wave. This was the first time she felt her soul getting swept away by it.

But suddenly, Rowena's aura that was seeping into his heart was disrupted when a subtle emerald light flickered briefly from the dark green mudstone ring on his finger.

As the light dimmed, another memory pierced through all others until only it remained in his mind as clear as crystal.

It was a memory of a 6-year-old Rowena sitting by his side, tears streaming down her cherubic face as she confessed the failure of her first reaping quest, which was supposed to be easy.

Asher wasn't surprised she was trying to learn reaping at such a young age, and she seemed quite distraught that she failed it.

But when she went on telling what her quest was about and how it turned out, it sent a jolt of pure shock and agony through him as a painful memory buried deep within his heart exploded into his mind like a raging volcano.

In an instant, the warmth of Rowena's love that had just begun to wrap around his heart, felt like it was ripped away.

He pushed her away involuntarily, a sudden wave of cold detachment replacing the warmth of moments ago.

Rowena, taken aback, looked at him, her eyes filled with confusion.

Asher quickly pulled himself together, hiding the raging turmoil inside, "I... I just remembered, I have a meeting with my vassals," he forced a smile with a weak excuse his shaken mind quickly came up with, his heart still reeling from the revelation and his veins trembling, "But if you want me to stay..."

Rowena, still caught in the abruptness of his withdrawal and the way his aura was trembling, shook her head softly, "No, go... We can talk later."

But she felt a tinge of disappointment that they couldn't stay longer in each other embrace a little longer.

With a final peck on her forehead, Asher walked away. As soon as he turned the corner, the facade of warmth evaporated, replaced by an chilling coldness that was ever darker.

As Rowena watched his back fade into the distance, she couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong. Or that was what her intuition was telling though she couldn't think of any reason why.

Just a moment ago, they were in a warm world of their own, but the next moment he left, leaving behind only coldness that she had lived in too long to not fail to feel it.