Chapter 2

2.

"Oh, my God, madam. What did I see earlier... You, you, you gave......."

Ignoring Lianne, who was thrilled and admiring her, Ercella recalled her actions from earlier. Her heart throbbed when she saw her son's stiffened face on her touch.

You don't want me to even touch you?

Although her mood sank, she cannot blame Vicente. Firstly, she has to change her demeanor. Ercella didn't want to be rejected by him again.

I have to change my habits for sure. She needed to change to win Vicente's heart.

As she thought about it, Ercella called Lianne, who was still in awe. She was still smiling brightly.

"Yes, Madam."

"I haven't asked yet."

"What are you going to ask? I'll answer sincerely."

Lianne is a maid six years younger than Ercella, and she had been with her since before her marriage. She was still serving Ercella because she insisted on being next to her even after the marriage.

That is why Lianne understood Ercella's intentions behind her words. Ercella opened her mouth with hesitation.

"That's um..."

Why can't I say it?

"Yes, please go ahead."

"I... now..."

"Yes, Madam, I'm ready to listen."

"I want... closer..."

I want to be a bit closer to him. But she didn't mention the subject. As Ercella fumbled to add Vicente's name, Lianne clapped her hands and cheered.

"Oh, with the Young Master?"

She's quick-witted.

Ercella looked at Lianne without distaste. Anyway, it was comfortable that she understood.

"As you know, me and Vicente..."

"Don't get along well."

"Yes, but if we stay like this..."

"It'll get worse."

"Right, so..."

"Now, you want to be close?"

She's a ghost! She nodded twice. Thankfully, Lianne said what she wanted to say.

"Umm-"

Lianne pretended to worry while holding one hand on his chin.

"It's true that you two have been engaging in a swordless war."

That was too much!

"I thought that you two would never get along, but this day has finally come. I'm relieved."

Lianne closed her eyes and began walking around the room like a detective. Ercella, who was in a hurry, was frustrated by that but sat still and waited for words from her maid. It was obvious that if she interrupted her, she would delay even more.

"So, madam just realized that you've been a heartless mother."

"Yes."

"It's quite late, but still, I'm glad you realized it."

"... Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

There was a hint of blame in her words of resentment. You've never said anything about my indifference to my son.

But upon closer look, the fundamental problem was Ercella herself. How could be Lianne at fault? As she sighed, Lianne said in a calm tone.

"But Madam must have been upset, too."

"......."

"The Marquis pushed for marriage so quickly when you were at the prime of your life. Words like "The flower of society", "The most beautiful in Grania", were used to describe Madam."

Lianne continued without realizing that she was calling her "lady" instead of "Madam."

"Madam loved meeting people, dancing, and going to parties. Everyone loved that Young Lady. You lost all of that in an instant when you had the Young Master.... Yes, it's not like I don't understand your feelings."

"Lianne..."

"Madam was young, too. There must have been many things you wanted to do. I'm sure you didn't mean this to happen but he's still your son."

"I didn't know you thought so."

Ercella murmured quietly. Many people forced her to change for the sake of a mother's virtue. Whenever she did that, she thought she was the only one who felt unfair but it was reflected in Lianne's eyes too. It was a small consolation apart from her sins.

"Do you regret getting married?"

Lianne suddenly wondered if Ercella was regretting her marriage. It's because her owner was restrained, but never once said she regretted getting married.

"I don't regret it."

Ercella spoke more plainly than she thought.

"I think Harsen is a good husband. Don't you think so?"

That was something that Lianne agreed with.

"The Lord is blunt, but you can still feel his sincerity. And he was very popular too. Handsome, heir to the Duke, and member of the First Order Knights. He was perfect as your husband. It was just a pity that the Madam couldn't enjoy her life and got married so quickly."

"It couldn't be helped."

"......."

"Because my father was sick."

At that time, Ercella's father, Marquis Visaride, got ill suddenly. Ercella's sister and brother were already married, so that wasn't a concern but Ercella was unmarried.

As opposed to for his son, the Marquis had to be strong to get his daughter married to a good family. Therefore, the Marquis chose the best family for Ercella and quickly married her off.

The Marquis of Visaride later died after Ercella gave birth to Vicente, and her brother, Caron, inherited the title at only twenty.

"I'm sorry. I talked unnecessarily."

Seeing Ercella's darkened expression, Lianne politely apologized. But Lianne didn't need to apologize. It's already been a long time and Ercella also didn't care about it anymore.

"No, it's already past. Instead, let's talk about the future. What should I do?"

"Hmm... Maybe, I think we should start by changing the way Madam talks first?"

Ersella nodded at her perfect point. Clearly, there was a problem with her unfriendly way of speaking.

"Madam is definitely sweet and affectionate to others. She's kind to the employees, too. But Madam speaks too coldly to her son. If you make your tone more gentle, it will be better to improve your relationship."

"For example?"

"Saying 'Do it.' or 'What is it?', is absolutely forbidden to talk in such an imposing manner."

"I see."

"You can't do this."

"Okay..."

"Something like, 'Did you do it?', 'Of course.', 'What did you do~', would be a nicer way of asking him what he did."

Lianne pointed to her problem acutely and gave a solution as well. Of course, Ercella was willing to accept Lianne's advice.

"No matter how mature the Young Master is than his peers, he's only 15 anyway."

Wait a second-

"15?"

Oh, my God...

Lianne, seeing Ercella's face turning pale, said with a grim voice,

"Perhaps, Madam doesn't even know the Young Master's age?"

So, it's not a dream. I'm really back?

Vicente was 18 when she died. Lianne looked at her as if she really forgot her son's age. However, Ercella had no time to care about that.

I can't believe he's 15 years old. This is three years before Ercella's death. Then that means that she really came back to the past; it's not a dream.

She started getting goosebumps all over. She unconsciously thought it was a dream...

Does that mean I came back in time?

Did God really listen to her earnest prayers? Ercella calmed her shocked heart and decided to believe in God in the future. In fact, she wasn't religious at all, so this was even more surprising.

Yes, this was weird to think about.

Vicente from the training grounds looked a little younger than he did then. She just didn't notice because they didn't see each other often. And didn't Lianne say Vicente just passed the apprenticeship exam? The 18-year-old Vicente had been an official knight for a while.

Then she remembered herself dying. She was fine now. She has a healthy body as she did back then. If so... Will she die again in three years?

Will I get sick again...

Ercella closed her eyes tightly as she thought of it. She was afraid of that stabbing sensation she felt in her lungs with every breath she took. She could deal with that but to wait for death helplessly... To think of death after having suffered it once, extreme fear constrained her whole body.

"Madam?"

The tension disappeared with a voice filled with worry. Ercella blinked once and looked at Lianne. She looked worried.

"You're trembling."

Lianne carefully grabbed Ercella's hand. She was looking at Ercella with her eyes asking if she was okay, but weirdly enough, Vicente came to mind.

... What are you doing?

Ercella shook her head and smiled self-deprecatingly. Now is not the time to be afraid of death.

What's more frightening is to repeat the past again. To remain a heartless mother to Vicente again.

It was not the time to foolishly worry whether she'll live long or die.

Even if she was destined to die again in three years, the time in between is not entirely hers.

The rest of her time should be devoted to Vicente.

Maybe it's really the last mercy from God. It didn't matter how she came back or why she came back. The important thing is that she has one more chance now that she's back. Ercella could never miss this opportunity, which might be the whim of God.

"I'm okay. Tell me more."

Now, there's only one thing that Ercella had to do.

This life must be filled with love for her only son.

"What else should I fix?"

When Ercella suddenly asked with a grim face, Lianne smiled softly.

"Oh, are really going to fix it?"

Her serious attitude also raised her motivation.

"You should spend more time with the Young Master."

"Time?"

"Yes, you two always stay apart. Go look around the city, shop, and eat together outside, not at home... Oh, before that you should eat together at home. Madam and Young Master eat separately except for dinner with the Lord."

It was certainly rare for the two to eat together. Harsen, who was usually indifferent, suggested having a meal together.

They ate breakfast and lunch separately, and dinner together on the day her husband was present, but if not, they would eat separately. It was also more comfortable for each other.

"Okay, good. We should eat together from tomorrow onwards."

"Are you not having lunch and dinner tonight?"

"I wish I could, but..."

Lianne replied as if she understood everything.

"Yes, it difficult to change suddenly. Then let's spend time thinking about how to treat the Young Master."

Sometimes Lianne seemed to be able to read Ercella's thoughts. But it wasn't uncomfortable. Lianne was a maid who served Ercella as a close aide for more than a decade. She treated her with the utmost care until she died. Ercella spoke to Lianne with gratitude.

"Yes, we definitely need to spend time together. Should we walk around the garden?"

"That's a good idea. Your garden is so beautiful. Lots of flowers must have bloomed by now."

"Then we'll go shopping... But do boys like shopping, though?"

Looking at her friends' sons, they didn't seem to like shopping at all. Boys mostly liked playing card games or chess. Women usually went shopping with their daughters rather than sons.

Even ordinary boys don't like shopping, but to go shopping with Vicente, the embodiment of bluntness? She couldn't imagine it at all, so Ercella decided to exclude the idea.

"I don't think so..."

"I'm sure some boys like shopping. But Madam, what's important here is spending time together, not shopping. Did you really mean to just go shopping?"

"......."

That's why Ercella shut up.