Chapter 195.1: I want to engrave (Part 1)

The room was dark with no lights on. It thought of it like the head of an open-mouthed beast.

'It's impossible to know which one is the beast.'

Without turning on the light, I trudged over and headed straight to bed. Ricdorian's footsteps stopped. When I turned around, he couldn't get any closer to me and stopped.

"Are, are you going straight to bed?"

What kind of shy line is this? I tilted my head gently. He seduced me... Looking at him from a distance, I smiled softly.

"Then not in bed, where are you going to do it?"

Having said that, I looked around the room slowly. The bed was far, but the sofa was closer.

"Won't the sofa hurt your body?"

"...... What?"

The blue moonlight was illuminating the room. Therefore, even I with a poor body could see very well. I mean, I could see the red face that was about to burn very well. Especially when I looked at his ears, they were so red that there was no white spot. However, I did not stop there and turned my gaze to one place.

What caught my eye was the balcony.

"...... So, maybe outdoors......."

"No, no!"

Ricdorian raised his head in amazement. It's a face that he didn't even think about. It was really different from the face he showed during the day. When he was with Lenag or Francia, he had a cool face that seemed to have collected all the frosts of the world, and when he was with Jaire, it was the face of a capable Grand Duke.

I couldn't stand it and laughed out loud.

"Yes, you are a bit like that from the start."

All of a sudden, a comfortable tone came out of me as if in prison.

"We don't have to be hard on each other."

It's fine if you take care of me. I sat with my back on the bed. I bent my knees and raised my arms up to my chin. Then I grinned.

He hadn't moved a single step.

"Where do you want to engrave?"

"...... where?"

"Yes."

Chaser engraved it on the inside of my wrist. At that time, I didn't think about it, but can the rose directly determine the engraving point? Or was it specified?

"Is that something you can decide?"

Ricdorian removed his hand from his face. When I beckoned, he faltered. However, there was still some distance from the bed.

"...... You can decide."

"How?"

"That...... I mean. That."

He hesitated, unable to speak. Should he leave it in the middle of the action?

"Why, do you have to engrave during the middle?"

Looking back at his bright face, I knew that I had said the right answer. I whistled inside. Along with the admiration for this conversation that takes place without an object.

"I see. So what did you think?"

When I asked one more time, Ricdorian was at a loss for what to do. As if he didn't know I would ask this.

"Hey, you don't want to talk? Shall I not ask?"

"...... That's not it......."

"Really?"

His white face, dyed in the moonlight, was red with no white parts. I didn't hate the look of the troubled eyes rolling around. My finger tapped the bed linen.

He tilted his head. His hair wiggled gently. The glowing eyes appeared and then disappeared. I felt like a bad person who made fun of innocent people just looking at him like that. This was also a problem because I didn't hate it.

"If not, let's stop......."

"There is!"

Ricdorian raised his voice slightly. It was a bewildered look. Hmmm, I meant to stop and just come here to my side.

"I, I don't want to stop."

He shook his head as if he misunderstood. Then he walked closer. Now, the distance was less than three steps. At the same time as I was nervous, I felt a strange feeling.

'A different personality usually appears around this time.'

Today, with his red face that stayed for a long time, I thought his rational state would last long. If I didn't like it, he wouldn't.

Even in prison long ago, I liked him.

The version that became a dog, the version that lost reason and left only instinct, each was cute and fatal....... It's because I thought that this side of him was the perfect figure of him.

He held out his hand.

"...... st."

"Yes?"

I was lost in thought for a moment and couldn't hear. His fingers curl up for a moment and then spread out.

"Wrist."

He no longer trembled. And he didn't even stutter. My gaze slowly rose. The neatly exposed neck and sculpturally beautiful face was drawn into my gaze.

I stretched out my hand. This was my answer.

"Engrave it."

It was too far just from reaching out my hand. He realized it and took one more step. As if he needed courage, he exhaled a little. His trembling fingertips grabbed me. The temperature was as hot as boiling. It felt like his warmth was beating at my heart.

Why did he always shake me up at this temperature like another season? The question that filled my heart all the time filled my mind.

"Why are you trembling when you kissed me already?"

"...... Because it's different. All of them totally require your consent."

He spoke calmly. No, it sounded like he was trying to calm down.

"This...... Especially because I need more."

He took two more steps as he saw me waving my hand. His fingertips touched tightly. He bowed his body.

"But why the wrist?"

He gently wiped the arm. As if licking the raised muscles one by one on the rolled up shirt. The hand holding my wrist was strong. But it was a look that didn't know what to do. He had a cautious face, fearing that I would break if held.

'You don't have to hold me like this.'

Ricdorian exhaled. It was hot.

"...... Because that's where that man carved it."

Ricdorian's gaze scanned the inside of my wrist. Is it because of the densely submerged atmosphere, or something caught my eye? All of his careful actions felt rather bizarre, and it felt like my hair stood on end.

"The Black Rose?"

"Yes. ...... does it hurt?"

"No."

Because your expression was provocative. Instead of pointing out his red face, I shook my head.

"...... They say it cannot be erased."

I already knew. However, the reply came back about the rose tattoo that cannot be erased once it was engraved.

"So, you want to overwrite it."

"Can I engrave it, Iana?"

A shrill breath escaped from the gaze with the reverent question. He looked like he was holding back something. I wondered if he was holding on to his personality change.

Regardless of whether it was tolerable or not, I had a strong feeling that it would be. It was such a desperate expression. What he said next made it clear that I wasn't wrong.

"...... Even these things, it's instinctive. I can't leave it to you."

"Ricdoran."

I grabbed his hand with my other hand and pulled him. It looked like he had a high fever, so it was something I did without realizing it. He was meekly drawn to me. He got up and buried his face in my shoulder. He gasped heavily. He seemed unable to control his body by forcibly pressing the change. It looked hard.

"I, haa, Iana. I'm always sorry for you......."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I think I received too much. Huu, I don't think I gave you anything."

I've never felt that way before, but he was feeling indebted to me. He lowered his head further and rubbed his face. It seemed like an act of trying to calm himself. Unintentionally, he rubbed between the ruffled hem of my clothes, and had buried his face in my chest. I felt a warm breath in my chest, but he didn't seem to feel it yet. I pretended not to know the heat that was clumping in my stomach.

"...... I guess because of my stubbornness, you were forced to accept it."

"... Why do you think so?"

Then, instead of resisting the strange desire that climbed on my toes, I swept his head. His soft hair was slightly damp with sweat.

"Look at me."

He raised his wet gaze.

"Am I the one who will force myself to do something?"

My life was not a life of forcing myself to do things I didn't like, even though I surrendered my body like flowing water.

Of course, this was not to say that I didn't compromise or give up early.

"I don't. And I don't want to do that anymore."

My fingers ran around his cheek and touched his lips. As soon as I touched it, his lips parted openly. I tapped his teeth. Then he smiled slightly. In the gradually increasing atmosphere, there was no longer a situation to take care of or play jokes.

"I wasn't drawn to it for a long time. In fact, I already have a red rose engraved on my body."

At that, he flinched. His eyes seemed to be moving.

"...... where? Why?"

"Did you forget? I have a red rose guardian deity."

Ricdorian seemed to have noticed the situation with his clear brain. He bit his lip.

"Where is it?"

I hesitated for a moment, but then answered.

"Thigh. It's on the inside of my thigh."

"My guardian deity is there."

"That's right."

"...... Can I see it?"

"Yes, of course...... What?"