Chapter 174: Live to Sienna Pt.174
Bluebell was not at all happy to see the gift boxes that filled the room. It was no match for the gift she received after the wedding. But rather than being happy, she was afraid knowing that all this was due to her own lies. It seemed that she was about to pay for the lie soon.
"What should I do?"
Bluebell paced the room nervously, biting at the tip of her fingernail.
"It's not too late to tell the truth..."
Only two people know that her pregnancy was a lie. The nanny and Carl.
The nanny asked her to tell the truth even now, but Bluebell didn't listen to her. She's already come too far. It's too late to reveal that it was a lie.
"Your Majesty the Emperor has come."
Bluebell and the nanny looked at each other with white-pale faces. He was the last person she wanted to meet right now. The one who knows her false pregnancy, and the one by whom she doesn't want to be caught the most.
Carl strode into the living room. Bluebell didn't even make eye contact with him. She was afraid of what kind of criticism she would hear.
He was clearly aware of her lies. They didn't have sex, but she got pregnant - it was nonsense if it wasn't a miracle.
Bluebell bit her lips and lowered her head. And waited when Carl would put out the fire.
"Did you have lunch?"
But Carl asked in a usual tone. Of course, she thought he would be angry. She thought he would be angry because she told such a lie, but he didn't even bring up anything about pregnancy.
"You've lost a lot of weight."
Carl held Bluebell's hand. Bluebell was glad that Carl seemed to understand why she had to tell such a lie. She looked up at him, convinced that Carl cared about her. But he was looking down at Bluebell with a look that he was looking at something very pathetic.
Bluebell shook off his hand. She shook it off so fiercely that Carl looked at her with a surprised look.
"Don't look at me like that!"
The time Bluebell had seen Carl was never short. She could read his feelings just by looking into his eyes. Carl's sympathy felt like an intolerable insult to her.
"Am I pathetic?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Do you feel sorry for me, then?"
Carl gave no reply to Bluebell, who spoke with a venomous look. His face turned cold as if he knew the answer he wanted would not come back.
"Then you shouldn't have brought me here. You shouldn't have let me lie."
Bluebell accused Carl violently.
"Do you know how I feel when I hear from my husband that he doesn't see me as a woman? Do you know how humiliating it is?!"
"That's..."
"Why didn't you tell me a lie? Why didn't you fool me with other sweet words instead of saying that I am like your sister and couldn't sleep with me?! Then I wouldn't have been this miserable."
Carl frowned at Bluebell's accusation. She was pregnant by false pretenses, but she was blaming himself for the rumor as if she had done nothing wrong.
"If you're here to coax me into honestly telling that it's a false pregnancy, you're in vain."
Normally, she wouldn't have been able to convey her feelings properly because of her tears before she could have even finished talking, but today, strangely enough, Bluebell couldn't shed tears.
"You'd better be honest before it gets too late."
After listening to Carl's advice, she clearly expressed her intention.
"No. I'm never going to tell anyone that my pregnancy was a lie. That won't happen even if you rip my mouth off. I'd rather hang myself or throw myself out of that window if I am ever forced to do so."
Bluebell threatened Carl. Not only Carl but also Bluebell herself did not know that this wickedness was hidden inside her. But now she couldn't stop or hide it.
"I am not pregnant yet, but we can make it true. If I'm really pregnant, what I said would not be false."
"You are insane."
"It's you who drove me crazy."
Carl turned from Bluebell and left. It wasn't the same girl he knew. It wasn't Bluebell that he wanted to take care of because she was small and vulnerable. It was doubtful whether she was the one whom he knew for so long.
"You did this to me! His Majesty the High Emperor!"
Over the door came the screeching sound of Bluebell.
*
A few days have passed after the argument with Carl. Bluebell regretted yelling like a madwoman that day. She couldn't forget Carl's expression. He had a look of disgust as if he had witnessed something terrible.
'I'm sure he has no feelings of any sort left for me now.'
Bluebell was on edge. He has completely turned away from herself and it was a matter of time that he would reveal the secret.
It was such a big lie. If this fact became known, she would not be able to remain in the empress' seat. She didn't know how to handle this.
She went out into the garden because she couldn't stay in the room alone, feeling stuffy. A laughter was heard over the pond. When she turned her eyes, there were Carl and Sienna. They were watching the pond together, unaware of the existence of Bluebell.
She gritted her teeth.
'I was only seeking your favor... I had given up all my pride!'
Carl hasn't even glanced at Bluebell since that day. She once visited his office to ask why he didn't come to her palace, but she was kicked out.
"Are you really not going to see me?"
Bluebell asked Carl, standing far away beside Sienna. Even though he couldn't answer this question, Bluebell felt cold-hearted about the silent Carl.
'I shouldn't have done that then.'
'I should have just knelt down and pleaded.'
-I was scared. I was afraid I would lose my position as Empress, and I would lose my seat next to Carl. I should have begged him to save me. She gave a deep sigh.
"What brings you here, Your Majesty?"
Bluebell turned to the sound of calling herself. There stood Arya with her knights.
"Empress Arya."
Arya looked at Bluebell with questions in her mind. A woman who always ran around like a puppy was looking at herself surrounded by a cruel and depressing atmosphere and Arya wondered what was going on. She even had an emperor's child, so she should go from place to place to show off her pregnancy, but it was also suspicious that she was too quiet.
"I've heard that you have the Crown Prince. Your Excellency."
"Yes."
With Arya's greetings, Bluebell's face became more somber. Arya saw Sienna and Carl together over her shoulder. Arya's lips slightly raised.
"Don't worry. The true power of the Empress comes from the Crown Prince, not from the Emperor."
"What?"
Bluebell looked up at her with an incomprehensible face.
Arya leaned down and stroked Bluebell's stomach. With such a sudden touch, Bluebell missed the time to pull back.
"There is everything the Empress should have in your womb. It's no match for the Emperor's love."
Bluebell's expression hardened coldly. If Bluebell really had Carl's child in her belly, as Arya said, would she have felt like she had everything she wanted?
But there was nothing in her belly. It was just full of twisted jealousy of an unloved woman.
"And you'd better be careful. There are many different kinds of plants planted in the garden. I don't know, but I heard there are herbs that can make one miscarry children. So you have to be careful. It's time to be careful of your posture so that the prince in your womb can be healthy."
Her words thrust into Bluebell's head.
"A herb that causes miscarriage?"
"Yes, I've heard that there's a medicine that doesn't affect the average person, but when the mother takes it, she falls into a deep sleep and loses her child."
"It doesn't work on a normal person?" You're not going to die?"
Arya again doubted Bluebell's question, but nevertheless kindly answered Bluebell's question.
"Of course, there are poisonous plants that kill people. There's also a miscarriage drug. There are many different uses of herbs than I thought."
"I see. From now on, I'll have to be careful while taking a walk."
Bluebell's face, which had been dark until now, was reddish. She hurried back to her place, leaving Arya behind. Then she called her nanny.
"Nanny! Get me the herbs that can miscarry a child! Something that's okay for ordinary people to eat, but harmful for mothers to eat."
"What do you mean a miscarriage herb?"
The nanny asked Bluebell back with surprised eyes.
"I heard there's such a thing. I'd prefer it if it's not smelly and tasteless."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"If I ask you to bring it, just bring it."
Recently, Bluebell was in conflict with her nanny about everything. Every time the nanny told Bluebell to be honest with herself in the admonition, she was annoyed.
"Your Majesty the Empress, what fearful thing are you trying to do? Don't strive for foolishness and just be honest. It's not too late now. Then the Goddess of the Earth will forgive you."
Bluebell's eyes grew fiercer.
These days, a growing number of people in the empire believed in the goddess of land. Since Leipsden did not encourage people to believe in a particular God, so religious belief was personal freedom. But Bluebell was unhappy that her nanny believed in the goddess of the earth.
-Why is she believing in the goddess of the earth among so many gods?
The temple that helped Sienna gain support from the people was the Goddess of the Earth. The goddess of the earth was like a demon to Bluebell.
Bluebell's nanny had been going to the temple for a long time. Thanks to it, she had no ill feelings for Sienna. Rather, she believed Sienna was a good person.
So Bluebell didn't like the idea even more. It seemed that Sienna had taken all of her people. Both Carl and her nanny seemed to have sided with Sienna, which made her angry.
'I'll let you regret it, Sienna. I'll let you know what the price is for taking mine.'
Bluebell shouted at the nanny in an irritated voice.
"Shut up! Just get that herb."
"Your Majesty the Empress!"
Only
"Nanny! If you don't get it, I'll kill myself. I'll hang myself, jump into the river, or cut my wrist and die."
The nanny replied with a pale look at Bluebell's words.
"How can you say such a scary thing?"
"So just get it for me, okay? You are on my side. The nanny should be on my side."
"Of course, I'm on your side. But..."
"This is the only way I can get out of the situation. This is the only way..."
Bluebell said desperately to the nanny.