Chapter 146
"Somehow, I thought it was going well..."
With a devastating murmur, Selina cast her gaze upon the distant cliff where gusts of wind howled relentlessly. Her eyes fixated on the designated point of return, where she was to make a daring leap into the mid-air abyss of the cliff.
"Is that it?"
Because of the wind, both of them had to hold on to the rocks at the edge of the cliff and lie close to each other. The place where Kalcion pointed with his fingertips matched where she was looking.
"No way."
The map provided a limited horizontal and vertical perspective. While she had estimated the height, she had only considered it to be at a certain elevation since she was halfway up the mountain. However, now she realized that it truly was suspended in the midst of the open air.
"Is that really it?"
"Looks like it."
They were able to see it easily, thanks to the wind.
In an instant, the swaying branches, blades of grass, and stones vanished as if swallowed by a void. Thankfully, the area wasn't too narrow, indicating that they could potentially reach it by jumping off the cliff.
Nonetheless, the challenge lied in reaching that spot by running.
The distance between the cliff and that point exceeded the height of a multi-story building. If, by any chance, a gust of wind were to blow and carry them away, it would result in their demise.
Descending down the cliff and leaping from a moderate height was also out of the question. The target location wasn't situated nearby the cliff but suspended in mid-air, considerably far away. Moreover, their perspective from above made it challenging to accurately assess the distance and angle from the side.
"I risked my life to come this far, and here again, to die or to live."
A lament came out by itself. Selina first stepped out of the cliff, and she peered at the edge of the cliff with complicated eyes.
Would she risk her life to return?
Answering this was even more difficult.
"Do you want to go back?"
Then, Kalcion asked as if he had read her mind.
Selina shifted her gaze from the cliff's edge back to him. He didn't impose or press her to choose him. It was akin to asking whether she desired to partake in the meal laid before her.
"There's nothing too hard to think about. Just tell me what you want."
"I, I—"
Perhaps because it was in front of the most desperate situation, countless thoughts that covered the truth were dismantled.
Selina lifted her head, which had been lowered in tears. Even in the frenzy, there were Kalcion's warm, hard eyes, which were unwaveringly pointed at her. He gave a signal to give him a hug saying that it was okay to act ridiculously childish.
As Selina raised her tear-streaked face, she found Kalcion's unwavering gaze fixed firmly upon her amidst the chaos despite the frenzy surrounding them. It was as if he silently beckoned her to embrace him, signaling that it was okay to let go and indulge in the whimsy of childlike behavior.
"...I'm scared."
"What?"
"It's scary to jump down from here, and it's scary to be able to return properly. I'm afraid if my place is still there when I go back."
"Yes."
Approaching her, he hugged her body and met her eyes a little closer.
Amidst the gusts of wind scattering her tears in every direction, Selina blinked her eyes but maintained her unwavering gaze. She yearned for her complex thoughts, too convoluted for her to unravel on her own, to be conveyed through the depths of her eyes.
"What if I go back and die because the Duke is not there? I wouldn't be able to come back then. What if I regret it? Still, I can't continue to live here as a me who's nothing. I'm afraid of the choice. What should I do?"
Kalcion released his arms from her back and cupped Selina's cheeks with his hands. Her cheeks, which had been chilled by the wind, melted in his warmth.
"You want to go back to that world, but you hate leaving me behind. You're afraid that your place might have been taken away when you returned, and you're also scared to run here right now. Is that so?"
When he summed it up, she knew how selfish she was.
Selina sniffed and nodded her head.
Kalcion said nothing despite her foolishness, who was more selfish and greedy than a childish whining.
"First of all, there will always be a place for you, who is this bright and beautiful... who always works hard. Don't worry about that. A place will be vacated for you anywhere in any world, if you will."
"Haha... hmm."
Embarrassed by the admiration she received right in front of her eyes, she wiped away her tears and ended up laughing.
"Then, all that remains is to leave me behind and to jump off."
"Can you solve this too?"
"Yes. It is easy."
Kalcion smiled brightly and held Selina's hand.
"...What?"
"We can do this."
"What?"
"Wouldn't it be less scary if you ran with me? If you can't see it, you can bury your face in my arms and run."
"What?"
"If you take me with you, you won't have to separate from me."
"...."
Surprise kicked her heart.
Selina was so lost that she even forgot to cry, and she stood still, like a person whose time had stopped for a moment.
It was this... the final blow that Kalcion really intended.
Yes, somehow. It was strange that he wasn't fussy and didn't get nervous while crossing the mountain.
"No, hey, Northern Duke. That, what about the war? The estate."
"I have already prepared countermeasures for all the foreseeable cases. Isn't that why I struggled without sleep for days and days?"
...Was he saying that the hardships he endured all night were not because of preparations for war, but for preparations to go?
"Won't your men try to kill you?"
"They said they were about to die."
As time passed, her mind raced. Realizing that no matter what they attempted, they couldn't eliminate Kalcion, their aim was simply to meet their own demise. She believed that with such devoted and logical subordinates at their disposal, they could accomplish something even in his absence.
What remained was the problem of one person, Kalcion.
"I've got a bracelet here, but the Duke will be a fool who can't even speak properly if he goes over there."
"I just have to learn the language."
"The Duke will become nothing, because there you would not be a Duke. I'll feed you, but.."
"That's reliable. That's enough."
"How can you do that?! You've lived your whole life as a duke! Without knowing what a life other than being a duke is!"
He answered so easily that Selina let out a tantrum. More than that, his position as a duke would be important to Kalcion, just as much as she couldn't let go of the work she had accumulated throughout her life and was boiling over with lingering feelings.
"Yes, but I don't want life without you more."
Kalcion did not waver.
"I don't want you to be unhappy."
"...."
"I hope you are happy... with me."
That was Kalcion's love.
It was a love that was so innocent that it seemed like something out of a fairy tale.
She had a hunch that if she pushed him away, she might regret it for the rest of her life. Choosing the world would leave regrets either way, but there was no choice to let go of Kalcion's hand. She had to hold it no matter what.
"Still, I also want the Duke to be happy."
"You can find happiness anywhere."
"It's hard to be happy if you don't have anything."
"You just have to find something else to have and have it. Titles and lands are only my possessions, not the things that make me up."
If it was Kalcion, even if he went over to Selina's world, she had the feeling that he would rise to a position comparable to that of a duke.
"Are you all sorted out now?"
"Has the duke really sorted it out?"
Kalcion muttered, "Um," and groaned briefly, then glanced at the sky where beasts were flying and looked back at the cliff before finally facing Selina.
"I've already sorted it out, so there's nothing more to do. Shall we go?"
As he moved toward the cliff with no regrets, Selina braked hard and grabbed his hand with her arms.
"Wait, wait!"
"Why?"
Despite her attempts to stop him, she found herself being irresistibly drawn by his force, exposing the precipice once again right before her eyes. She continued to scream, gripped by fear as the wind howled around her.
It was a bloody sight.
"What if... we went out there, and it is the same cliff in the other world?"
It was a hypothesis that came to mind when she saw it herself now. The door to this dimension shift was not artificially created for someone to enter and exit. It was part of an accidental magical natural phenomenon.
If so, the person using it may end up in the sky or the seabed.
What made it certain that a person could pass over alive? She should have remembered that all the dimension movers Kalcion encountered were found dead. She herself was one who was really, incredibly, very lucky.
...Could the same luck be applied when she returned?
Although Songtullek made a round trip, the door could have been in a good place for entry and exit, or the great wizard could have landed by flying. She was not a great wizard... and so was Kalcion.
"Wouldn't it be possible if we just jump off and then die?"
It seemed it was also an option that Kalcion hadn't considered beforehand. He looked at the base of the cliff for a long time and then nodded.
"Maybe."
However, instead of persuading her to go back, he said something out of the ordinary.
"It's fine, though."
"What is fine! Do you want to be alive or not!"
"It is fortunate that I can die at the same time holding your hands tightly."
This man was serious. He really thought it was okay to fall off this cliff and die together.
How could a person love someone so much?
Usually, a person's love was distributed little by little here and there—share with their friends and family, and share with themselves.
Gradually, that love extended to encompass things she had encountered throughout her life: the street cats she had always admired, the clothes she had carefully chosen, and the cherished trinkets she had impulsively purchased during trips. If she were to gather all that affection and direct it towards a single individual, would it manifest as this kind of love?
It was so huge that she couldn't even fathom the whole thing. If she was with someone who gave her this kind of love, wouldn't it matter where she was in the world?
"Then, shall we go?"
Kalcion asked again, checking their interlocking hands.