Chapter 127: A Somewhat Unique Relationship

"That is my story so far."

Aria spoke calmly from beyond the door. Though I could only sense muted emotions in her voice, I knew that expressing her story in any other way would have been difficult.

In contrast to her, I was in a state of shock for the first time since entering this game; I had never heard something so startling before.

I couldn't even think straight. A single sentence had grasped me, preventing me from thinking properly.

It was I who ruined her in this manner.

Her distorted desire for recognition and obsession towards me were something I myself had created.

On top of that, it was intentional; I did it to make Aria listen to me more.

I deliberately manipulated her, making her become excessively obsessed and reliant on me.

I understand.

Now that I had learned Necromancy, it was possible for me to be actively involved like this since she was in the first year.

However, the first-round's Kim Shinwoo fought with Deus' original soul for almost two years.

This blew away the early part of the game, and since it was the first round, he must have known that it would have been impossible to see a proper ending.

Therefore, the first-round's Kim Shinwoo made a choice.

He acted as if he were in the game, controlling the protagonist, Aria, and trying to achieve the best ending he could imagine.

In [Retry] where the second round was inevitable, he wanted to discard more of her humane aspects to achieve the happy ending in the first round.

"Sigh."

I let out a rough yet heated breath. I never thought I would have a moment where I would feel such an emotion.

Thud.

I banged my head against the door and clenched both of my fists tightly, blaming myself.

The forceful impact made my body tremble uncontrollably.

Now, I finally understood everything.

I had all the answers to my questions.

And I also realized that the current me almost walked the same path as my past self, making the same mistake.

"Sigh."

I sighed once again.

Otherwise, it felt like my head was going to explode from the suffocating and sinking feeling that was encroaching my chest.

Even though I felt so pathetic for dragging this child to such extremes, I understood the decisions he made so well.

Even if it was a little twisted, it was the path I should have followed.

Therefore, I felt disgust surge at the thought of repeating those acts once more.

"Professor?"

Aria called out to me with concern. It seemed like she put her hand on the doorknob and shook it slightly, however, she didn't open it.

"Wait."

Seeing her behave that way, I managed to force out a word. The next words I struggled to utter didn't sound like me.

"I am leaving now."

"Oh, okay! I understand! I'll wait!"

And yet, I didn't hear Aria's footsteps move, perhaps because she was still standing before the door.

I felt guilty for leaving her like that, but I still had to leave this place for now.

Findenai, who was sitting on the descending stairs with a cigarette between her lips, tilted her chin upon sensing someone approaching.

"Huh, is it ov..."

After seeing me, Findenai opened her mouth, causing her cigarette to drop. Then, she suddenly stood up and forcefully pulled me in, wrapping her arms around me.

"What... are you doing?"

I was startled by the sudden reaction, but Findenai clenched her teeth and started carrying me as we went downstairs.

"Shut the hell up. Damn it. What kind of fucking conversation did you actually have with her that made your face change like that?"

"What?"

"Forget it, you don't need to know. If she wasn't someone you cherished, I would've chopped that bitch Aria's neck."

"No, you should never do that."

As soon as I muttered these words, Findenai retorted irritably.

"I know, damn it."

The place Findenai took me to was my room in the professor's dormitory. She laid me down on my bed and then turned around.

"Was it the Academy Nurse? I'm going to call that person, so wait a moment."

"..."

Findenai went out immediately.

I glanced around slightly while catching my breath. The room was silent with no one around.

Thus, I slowly closed my eyes, becoming lost in thought.

Then, I started to think about people.

I had been working hard so far; in order to prevent the downfall of the continent, I had been preparing calmly for that day in my own way.

As Aria had said, it was a world where the boundary between life and death had been breached.

I am sorry, but that is not the real ending.

Strictly speaking, it could be seen as getting a game over right before the reaching ending.

Initially, I would have been able to prevent the breach between life and death if I had managed to keep Dante's leader alive.

After that, the ending would have been determined by another episode.

The me from the first round failed near the end.

Therefore, Aria hadn't really seen the tragedy of this world.

However, what good would it have done if she did?

Even without witnessing that scene, she was already so broken.

A sigh escaped my lips.

Images of Aria Rias laughing innocently and talking with students from when I first started playing the game flashed through my mind.

Regardless of what happened, even if she fell on her knees in the face of tragedy,

her determination to stand up again and move forward with a smile,

her belief that she could sacrifice herself for others without any hesitation,

all of it had now collapsed and disappeared in my desperation to avoid the bad ending prepared for the first round. It was now replaced by a dark obsession.

She wanted to be acknowledged by me. She wished for me to love her.

Because that was the only way I would not leave her.

It was so that the tragedy she saw that day would never repeat itself.

I was surrounded by such dark emotions while my chest felt suffocated, crushed by guilt, out of the blue...

[What are you doing?]

The Dark Spiritualist suddenly appeared.

[You asked me to step away for a moment, but now you're just staying still like this?]

"... I am simply taking a break."

Just as the Dark Spiritualist was about to say something to my nonsensical response.

[You... Your complexion looks too dreadful.]

After seeing my face, the Dark Spiritualist inspected it more closely. She then spoke with a worried voice.

[What's wrong? Is it because of that girl earlier? Should I go there and scold her for you?]

She herself knew well that even if she went there, she wouldn't be able to do anything.

However, still, the Dark Spiritualist tightly clenched her fists and bluffed about that.

Come to think of it, the Dark Spiritualist was also one of my victims in the first round.

Was that why?

As if I was complaining, I blurted out emotional words before realizing it.

"I... I have just realized that I was more despicable than I thought."

A man who believed he could manage everything adeptly, but was in fact on the brink of collapse at any moment.

A foolish individual who would manipulate everything to achieve his desired outcome in the end.

At his worst, he was even capable of gaslighting a naive countryside girl into depending on him.

Although I understood it was out of necessity, I couldn't help but be shocked by the realization that I had actually acted upon it.

[You mean you?]

The Dark Spiritualist tilted her head in confusion, wondering what I meant, but I didn't say anything more.

It felt like if I opened my mouth any further, more unnecessary words would spill out, just like a child.

[I don't understand how someone as seemingly impenetrable as you could be shaken to the core.]

"..."

[You used to behave unlike a human, but now, you're beginning to appear somewhat like one. And the reason why you're so shaken...]

The Dark Spiritualist gently embraced me. It was a very unexpected action even though I didn't feel any sensation.

Yet, through mana, she conveyed a subtle warmth to me.

[Because it's the weakest part of you that you have.]

"I..."

[I know I can't recklessly try to reach beyond because that's your own past. So, I'll keep my distance and wait for you.]

The Dark Spiritualist moved away from me and smiled softly.

[It's okay; no matter how long it takes. I don't mind because I'm already dead anyway.]

"...."

[But I believe that if it is you, you'll surely overcome it soon.]

After saying those words, the Dark Spiritualist slowly disappeared. She was trying to give me time for myself.

Later, Caren and Erica, who were brought by Findenai, came looking for me, but I sent them away.

Alone in the room, I closed my eyes and started to contemplate on things deeply.

As someone who experienced very little fluctuation in my emotions, why was I so affected by Aria's actions to this extent?

The reason was...

"It is not because of Deus' past."

It was not simply because of the atrocities I had committed in the first round.

"It is because of events that occurred much earlier than that."

It was earlier than the first round.

It was because of the story from back when I still lived as Kim Shinwoo.

The past I had kept hidden from everyone, so no one could see my weakness.

When I captured the soul of Dante's Dark Mage, Dina, the Dark Spiritualist once said such words to me.

- I hope that you won't become a monster in the process of defeating those monsters.

In order to survive, perhaps the me from the first round seemed to have become a monster.

* * *

As the sunset streamed through the window, a black-haired girl absentmindedly stared at it.

No, actually, she just blankly staring forward.

It was boring.

Things were dull to the point that it made her suffer.

She was supposed to be in her usual dorm room, but now that she thought of being trapped in it, it was mentally hard to accept.

At that moment.

Suddenly.

The door opened without warning.

Aria immediately turned her head with a bright smile.

There stood Deus Verdi.

However, soon after...

"Huh! The imposter."

Aria glared at him with narrowed eyes. He did resemble Professor Deus, but he was an imposter.

Someone who had skillfully disguised themselves to deceive her.

Thinking so, Aria immediately channeled her mana.

And yet, a somewhat clumsy reply came out of Deus' mouth.

"Yeah."

As if it were obvious.

"I'm not Deus."

What would follow after this was a slightly different story.

It was not the cliché tale between a student and a professor.

It was not just another story of someone who loved and was loved.

It was the time for a story between two people with a somewhat unique relationship.

The protagonist of a game who endured death repeatedly to reach a happy ending.

And a boy who continued to play the game to escape from the tragedy in his life.