Chapter 126: The Chipped Girl's Sin and Punishment
***Arc 6 One Who Pierced Through, Chapter 126 The Chipped Girl's Sin and Punishment***
Kayle and Katias.
The two boys could be described as childhood friends.
In a word, annoying.
When Krische was small, she was often dragged along in their fun.
She was forced to go along with the unknown, make a believe fight, and roam the village under the guise of exploration.
After being scolded by her father Gorka for going into the forest once, she stopped going along with them.
It seemed doing something that broke the rules was fun to them, and their company was nothing but a detriment to Krische, who sought recognition from others.
"Kayle-kun and the others are playing, you know. I will do it, so Krische just go play."
"They're bad boys, so Krische doesn't enjoy playing with them. Krische had much more fun helping Kaa-sama...'
"W-well, I know they're a bit naughty and I know Krische is angry about the other day, but...it's not good to ignore them. Whether you turn them down or not, you still need to talk to them."
Grace told her that at least they were inviting her to play with them because they think it's fun.
Krische also thought Grace was right and went over to them and honestly told them she didn't want to play with them because she didn't enjoy playing with them.
If they were inviting her to play with them as a favor, it would be bad to refuse each time.
She concluded that it would be better if she told them clearly so that they didn't have to ask her out again.
"Ahh...t-that's not what I mean, Krische."
"...?"
"Um, huh... what should I say..."
"......Um, more importantly Kaa-sama, the pot is boiling, is that okay?"
"A......"
Her clumsy mother made a lot of mistakes, and Krische wanted to follow her up, and she also loved spending time with Grace.
She had plenty of work to do if she wanted to help her mother, and she learned more than she would have with the two children.
"Kaa-sama, um...the soup has too much salt even before the ingredients are added...a little, just a little bit...it's hard for Krische."
"T-that so...I'm sorry..."
"Ah, no, it's okay...Kaa-sama must be tired from a lot of work, so please sit down. Krische will make dinner tonight."
Especially since she started cooking.
After that, the two stopped inviting her to hang out, but instead, they rolled up her skirt, bad-mouthed her, and harassed her.
It was unpleasant, but it was her who refused their favors.
Krische decided to put up with it to some extent.
The harassment at that time was trivial, and everyone understood that it was them that was at fault.
Thinking that there would be no problem if she left it alone. She spent her days as normal.
The trigger that changed that was probably after she showed up at the training ground.
――We never know when disaster will befall us. At that time, the only thing that can protect you is your own sword, and as we gain strength, we can protect those we love. Know that what you are wielding is not violence, but the power to protect others in times of need.
One day, when she happened to pass by the training ground, the vigilante leader Zar was telling the children such a story.
She had always thought it was a good idea to learn to use a sword for protection, and she was interested in it, but since Grace hated violence, she found it difficult to bring it up.
But those words seemed good to say
Not just for herself, but for someone else.
Learning violence to protect someone in an emergency――it was a convenient excuse to start learning the sword, and if not for Gorka and Gallen, who were great hunters, then at least for mother.
If mother was in danger, the person who could help her would be her, the person who was closest to her.
Krische told Grace that and asked her if she would be allowed to participate in the training.
That night, thanks to Gallen and Gorka nodding their heads in agreement, she was allowed to participate in the training, despite Grace repeatedly telling her to be careful not to injure herself.
Women were allowed to participate if they wanted to, while men were forced to participate once they were able to hold a sword.
Naturally, Kayle and Katias were there as well, and when Krische visited the training grounds, she was harassed as usual. She was fed up with the harassment, which had been going on ever since she turned down their invitation, and it was annoying to have it interfere with her training.
"――If Krische shows them that Krische is much stronger, it will surely disappear", she thought.
He simply thought so, and after learning the basics of the sword lightly, she decided to show them that on the second day. The two of them were not good at giving up and challenged her many times, so she beat them again and again until they gave up――their lack of giving up was not a bad thing as a training partner.
Each time she would change her method, play her sword and make them fall, and continued until finally they both cried and left.
'Grace! What kind of education are you giving that child? No matter how much training it is...Katias came home crying, you know?'
"...sorry."
"Stop Kanya. It's a children's quarrel, really. That idiot Kayle, your Katias must have been mean to Krische-chan. It's a good lesson, it's going to make them a little more mature. You were too energetic to begin with."
The next day, Katsias's mother stormed into the house.
Gala took control of the situation, smiling and saying that Krische was not to blame.
Krische thought so too, and she didn't hit them with the wooden sword, and she was a little careful when she made him fall. She didn't understand why Katsias' mother was angry.
"...Krische didn't hurt them or anything. The two of them said they wanted to fight many times, so we just had a match."
'...Krische was angry with them, so you decided to make them cry, didn't you?'
"...Krische didn't want to make them cry. ...At first, Krische thought that if they found out that Krische was stronger than them, they might stop harassing Krische."
After Gala and Katias' mother left, Grace sighed troubled.
"......Is that so? I think both sides are at fault this time. Of course, it's their fault for being mean all this time, and I think Krische is also a bit at fault to try to do something about it with force."
"Krische is also bad?"
"Yes. We have a mouth that we can use to talk properly, so if you want them to stop doing something, you should have a proper discussion first. If you use your power, the other person may listen to what you say, but if that's the correct way to do it, the strongest person is the greatest, and he ends up being obeyed by anyone after all."
She held Krische gently and stroked her head.
The touch Grace gives always felt good for Krische.
"When there really is nothing you can do about it, there may be situations where you need power, but... but that is only a last resort. I want Krische to be a child who can solve various problems properly by talking. ...I know Krische is not good at talking, but I think Krische is a good girl who can do that kind of thing."
"...Good child"
"Yes, Krische is my proud daughter after all. ...If there is something that is difficult to say or that you cannot solve by yourself, I will always cooperate with you. I may be unreliable, but Krische should rely on me once in a while. I am your mother after all."
Krische thought about Grace's words a lot.
But it seems to her that it was not wrong to think that the strongest person was the greatest.
She thought it would be nice if she could be the strongest and that would solve all the problems.
For Krische, this idea was more appealing than anything else.
Children were troublesome when they cried.
On the other hand, if it's an adult to some extent, they probably wouldn't cry and tattle.
She trained hard against adults, and within a week she was losing less and less, and within a month she was losing to no one but Zar.
When they began to have trouble fighting Krische, what she began to hear was malicious gossip about Krische.
She's creepy, she's crazy.
These were words she hadn't heard in a long time, although they had been said to her often when she was a child, when she used to walk silently behind Grace.
Strangely, they seem to be telling stories that she didn't have any recollections of, such as that the chicken they kept died because Krische killed it, or that she took out the intestines of the rabbit and ate it.
She then realized that it was Kayle and Katias who were spreading it.
Maybe it wasn't all.
By that time, she had finally begun to realize that it would not be good for her reputation if she beat them too severely, even though it was a match, and she also understood that she had lowered her reputation a lot without realizing it.
However, it was also troubling if it spread further
The overt harassment had disappeared, such as the Krische's laundry being the only one falling to the ground, but they continued to harass her in the dark. She thought about having an opportunity to talk with them, just like her mother had told her.
However, even if she was asking them to stop swearing and harassing her, there was no reason for Krische to bow to them in the first place. She had turned down their invitations in the past――to go this far just for that reason was beyond "somewhat unpleasant".
Even if she bowed down to them and asked them to stop, she thought that they would only be more impudent because of it.
If she made them think that if they harass her, Krische will give in and act subservient, then the same thing may happen again and again.
Krische said nothing to Grace.
It was because relying on Grace and causing trouble was not something that could be tolerated within Krische.
But Grace tried to talk to them for Krische's sake, but she apologized with a troubled face saying they ran away.
She looked at her face and thought for a moment.
"...why is this guy here, Kaa-chan?"
"Why do you say that? ...Today is for your 10th birthday feast. And Krische-chan said she will also help me."
"...I will never eat that guy's pie alright, it's disgusting."
"Kayle!"
Boys who turned 10 that year were allowed to become apprentices to hunters, and as a turning point, they became the stars of the spring festival.
Gala had been looking out for Krische for a long time and invited her to serve pies there. Maybe that would solve this nonsense, she thought.
Krische, who had been wondering what to do, agreed.
She thought she should at least make an effort for Grace, who had gone out of her way to help her.
"I'm sorry, no matter how many times I said to that stupid son, of mine... I'm really sorry for Krische-chan."
"No, Krische doesn't mind."
"...thank you. I'm really sorry."
It's true that she didn"t care.
For Krische, it was meant as a last resort, and if he was unwilling to comply, so be it.
An existence that makes Krische uncomfortable and brings disadvantages just by being alive.
It's just like the dirt and dust in the house.
Simply, if you see it, you clean it up.
At least they are not needed around Krische, and at least Krische has nothing to worry about even without them.
The rule is just a rule, such as not to kill people.
The only reason Krische kept them was simply for the sake of her reputation in the community.
If it would be a disadvantage for Krische, there was no need to follow it, and even if she killed the two of them, it wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't exposed.
Krische had the power to do so, and once she killed them, there was no need to listen to them.
They will have neither a mouth to speak nor limbs to harass her after all.
She started preparing on that day, and a few days later, she got rid of them.
They would never be able to make her uncomfortable again.
On the day of the murder, it took her less than half an hour to finish the job, and she helped her mother with her work, feeling refreshed.
Gala was sad after the two bodies were found, but Krische didn't particularly care.
She had been allowed to use the oven in Gala's house for a long time, but it was rather convenient because Kayle was always getting in the way.
Every day she would go to her house, now that she was alone, to bake pies.
"...Krische-chan. The oven again?"
"Yes. Also, Kaa-sama said, if Oba-san doesn't mind, would you like to have dinner with us?"
"...If that's the case, let's have it together. I'm sorry, making Krische-chan worry about me."
"No, Krische is also allowed to use the oven, and Krische is very grateful to Oba-san for being so kind to Krische...?"
Gala hugged Krische and shook her shoulders.
"I'm sorry....can we stay like this for a little bit?"
"Yes, it's ok. Krische also likes to be squeezed by an Oba-san."
Krische smiled at the sensation.
Since then, Gala has been much kinder to Krische than before.
Shortly after that Krische heard, Katias' mother who wasn't originally friendly to Krische, and was rather mean, had disappeared while picking edible wild plants.
Many unpleasant things disappeared from the village.
From the bottom of her heart, she was glad she had killed them both.
She didn't question it at the time, and didn't think much of it afterwards.
But――
――Bery listened silently to the old story that was being narrated.
"Why is Krische-sama telling me this?"
"... Krische doesn"t want to hide something... from Bery, so Krische decided to tell Bery properly."
Krische continued.
Peeking at Bery's face.
"...After that, Krische also killed the uncle who was touching Krische's body even before the bandits came...but there was a good reason for both, and even now Krische still honestly doesn't think Krische was at fault."
Krische waited for Bery to speak.
Bery took in the situation and replied.
"... Is that so? If Krische-sama thinks so, I think so too."
"Eh...?"
Bery smiled at the confused Krische.
"I'm always on Krische-sama's side, so it's only natural. If Krische-sama says it's right from the bottom of her heart, I'll believe in the same truth as Krische-sama."
Then she leaned in closer.
She looked Krische straight in the eye and put her hand on her cheek.
"Please don't worry. I won't hate Krische-sama, and even if everyone in the world hates Krische-sama, I will still love Krische-sama. Because I made a vow and decided like that. ...Therefore, there is no need to be afraid of being disliked by me."
"That... that is"
"Whether it's a sin or not, my number one priority is Krische-sama. If Krische-sama is to be blamed for that, I will say to that person that Krische-sama is right, and I will proudly say that."
"W-wait, wait... please, that's not what Krische meant."
Krische said in a panic, and Bery, who saw that, chuckled and stroked her head.
Then hugged her and asked.
"...Then, what was Krische-sama's intention?"
"Th-the truth is...Krische knew it wasn't right, and it"s something Bery didn't like."
"Does Krische-sama want me to scold you?"
"......don't know"
Bery stroked the bewildered Krische's hair and waited patiently.
It's not something that can be easily taught, such as what should be done this way, what should be done that way, and there was no correct answer.
If Krische truly believes that the answer she had just given was the right one, that's fine with Bery.
But she just thought that it should not be something she could say without hesitation and without worrying about it.
"What Krische just said wasn't all a lie, Krische really thinks so. Even now, Krische thinks it can't be helped at that time, but... Krische felt very, very bad that Krische made Oba-san sad... but that was a long time ago... So Krische, don't know what to do."
"...Is, what Krische-sama wants to know is whether she should apologize to Gala-sama who doesn't know anything, or should she keep it a secret?"
"......yes."
If there was such a thing as a brilliant answer, She might have wondered if she should tell her.
But there was no such answer anywhere.
"Krische is like Oba-san. Krische met her for the first time in a long time, and Krische wanted to make her Oba-san happy... but when Krische remembered that Krische made Oba-san so sad, Krische wondered if it was really okay or not..."
It was not about killing people.
What Krische felt guilty about was that she made Gala sad because of it.
"Krische did it, knowing it was wrong. Krische thinks Krische should apologize properly. But Krische kept it a secret... so Oba-san didn't know either.......Krische thought that if Oba-san knew, Oba-san would be very sad, but, uh, Krische doesn't really understand."
She didn't think killing people was a bad thing.
She killed if necessary.
She was originally a person who did not even question it.
She learnt the rules to fit into society, judged right and wrong against what's 'right' in those rules, and tried hard to be a good girl.
She said she couldn't help it, she said she knew it was bad.
She regretted not that she killed someone, but that she broke the rules.
And she regretted that she made Gala sad.
And Bery sure that the reason she went out of her way to say this was because she was there.
She knew she was dependent on her.
She knew she was trying hard to be a good girl that she liked.
So she seemed to want to be scolded by her in order to manage her guilt.
She didn't understand what was normal for people.
The good, the bad, the right, and the wrong.
She thought it was because she was abnormal and had given up.
That's why she needed guidance.
She couldn't see the bad things as bad, and she hated herself for that.
"――Krische is weird, so Krische doesn't think it's sad or painful to kill someone. Krische is fine. L......But when Bery sees Krische, Bery feels painful and sad, right?"
What this girl longed for was trivial and nothing, just a mere "normal".
But she knew that her values were out of sync with the norm, and so she entrusted them to her. She was asking her, because she felt that what was right for Berry――a normal sin was a sin, and she wanted to accept the punishment.
"...Krische-sama sure is beautiful."
"Bery...?"
An old sin, even though she didn't need to say it.
Rather, if it was truly 'normal', they would have stayed silent and pretended nothing ever happened.
That way, they would not be hurt and the truth could be buried in the dark without causing trouble to anyone.
But she was too clumsy to make such a choice.
Because she wished more than anyone else, the natural normal.
"If Krische-sama asked me anything, I will try to answer as much as possible."
Sometimes she wondered what happiness meant to her.
Bery was willing to teach her many things to make her happy, but what bothered her the most was probably the "normal happiness" that Bery presented.
Was it really her happiness for her show righteous argument?
If she did not know, if she had not been taught, she would have been happy without question.
She was stronger and more complete than anyone else, she had that much power and everything.
She was sure she could have made her happier than anyone else.
But she sometimes wondered if she was making her weaker and unhappier than anyone else, and that's why she couldn't answer her own question.
"But, I still cannot answer that question."
It's easy to just say it, and if she presents it appropriately (randomly), it would solve her current troubles. However, it would only solve it, and it would be nothing more than a stopgap that did not lead to the resolution of the fundamental problem.
She herself must have been a cowardly villain.
She always pushed her selfish good intentions on her and always pushed her around.
Even while recognizing that,
"Like I said earlier... I think what Krische-sama thinks, worries, and feels right should be the answer."
Bery told her so.