Chapter 1226: Death [8]
That was reality.
Somewhere separated from the perception of both the living and the dead was the Wheel of Samsara which controlled the reincarnation cycle.
Through it, souls would be returned to their natural state and removed from everything that defined them so they could enter a new body and live again.
Of course, this process wasn't always accurate.
Sometimes, souls would have deeply entrenched desires, regrets, or even memories that would appear in their new lives in some way, shape, or form.
But in the end, even true reincarnation with memories intact was impossible.
This was an absolute rule established at genesis, a concept of a level Universal Law couldn't even compare to.
But Damien...
When his ego was erased, he was gone from the universe completely.
That's how it should've been.
But for some reason, he could see it all.
As if his ego was separated from his soul, he watched it flow through the Wheel of Samsara and experience everything it experienced.
And as he did so, his denial only got more prominent.
He denied death.
He denied the control these pre-established concepts had over him.
And he found that as his Legends resonated with his emotions, his soul experienced changes.
He still had control over it.
In all senses of the word, he "did not exist" right now.
Even he considered his current state a delusion in his last moments. He assumed the milliseconds were passing slower than stopped time and he was experiencing this facade of control because of his inability to accept death.
But even so, he refused to give up.
He clung onto the vestiges of his existence with everything he had. Even if he had to sacrifice all his power, even if he had to throw away his connection to the Void, he would cling onto existence until he could bring himself back or die trying.
That was his nature.
That was the flaming determination that defined him.
"As expected, I was never a man who gave in."
He heard a voice behind him and turned around.
That person...
"You're me?"
His words were calm.
He looked down and realized that his formless ego was now shaped in the likeness he held before death, with that gaping hole still engraved in his chest.
"Hmm...in a sense, yes, I am you."
The man who appeared responded with the same nonchalant attitude.
Damien nodded.
Since he was like this, the illusion couldn't be anyone else.
After all, there was nobody else who could appear here with him besides himself.
Because neither of them truly existed.
"Do you want to return?" The other him asked.
"Isn't that obvious? I haven't even begun to accomplish my ambitions," he responded in kind.
"However, hasn't everyone who died held this same thought? What makes you worthy of returning?"
"Isn't that even more obvious?"
They both knew the answer.
Yes, he wasn't any better than the rest of them.
The people he killed throughout his life probably mourned their inability to accomplish their goals in their final moments as well.
But that simply didn't matter to him.
If he viewed himself the same way he viewed them, he wouldn't be fighting in the first place.
"They weren't able to do it, and that was their mistake. Since I have the opportunity, then that's my fortune. There's no need to bring morality into this, there's no need to be arrogant about it, and there's nothing I need to realize about myself. I will only survive if I can save myself, and if I can't, that just means I am the same as them. Does that make sense?"
"No."
The other him smiled.
"But at the same time, yes it does. The most simple reasoning is often the most incomprehensible, since as humans, we are incapable of denying complex thought."
"That doesn't matter. If I try to understand what's happening right now, I'll just fall into the depths of confusion and justification and waste time on pointless things."
"You're quite arrogant."
"I'm not. I'm just a realist."
"Would a realist be trying to fight the Wheel of Samsara?"
"Yes, if they lived the life I did."
"Hahahahahaha!"
The other Damien laughed loudly.
"Mm, this is the mindset I have to possess. Otherwise, it'll be impossible to accomplish anything in the future."
They were both Damien Void.
Neither of them could be considered the "real" Damien, because neither of them existed in reality right now.
But at the same time, they could both be considered real.
Just different versions of him that existed for different purposes.
"There is a way to survive," the other him said.
"I know," Damien responded.
They were one and the same.
He realized what the other version's purpose was the second he appeared.
Because they shared the same existence.
They were standing in the blackness.
Before this, Damien just assumed his ego was a false concept, a product of delusion.
But at some point, he understood his position.
"Embrace it. Become part of it, and you will live for eternity."
"Hah!"
Damien laughed.
"Become a part of it?" He echoed mockingly.
"That will never happen."
He placed his hand out. It was illusory, like that of a ghost, but it made contact with the blackness as if the space itself was material.
"I will never allow it to consume me. If it wants me to live..."
He grinned and clenched his fist.
"Then it will become a part of me instead."
"Is that the decision you've made?"
Damien looked at his other self and shook his head.
"I should be the one asking that question. Have you come to a decision?"
The other Damien's smile widened.
"Haha, how silly. There was never a decision to make in the first place."
Damien smiled in return.
"You're right. The question itself was flawed. In the first place, there was no need to make that distinction."
"Because you are me..."
"...and I am you. Yes, from the start, you misjudged this connection, and that held you back."
"Is that why you were silent until now?"
"Is it? Or perhaps this was a trial you were always meant to overcome."
"You must be quite annoyed. I guess I was supposed to struggle more."
"If you struggled, then you'd just be like the rest of them. Since you're able to save yourself, then you will, right?"
"Right."
***
A spark lit up the darkness.
No, it was better to say darkness appeared in this colorless existence.
A small black dot that once existed in Damien's spiritual world transferred to his soul.
That ethereal construct without defined shape or size due to his status as a lower existence was suddenly defined against its will.
It was dyed black, a blackness that represented the space beyond all known concepts.
The Wheel of Samsara lost its grip on his soul.
***
"I will come see you soon."
Damien looked his other self in the eyes as he spoke.
And his other self nodded in agreement.
"Yes, it will not be long."
***
His body began to fade, and Damien felt something pulling him out of the blackness.
A small seed, hidden deep within the soul, was awoken by the occupation of its abode, and furious at the attempt, it began devouring the secondary conscious until it became a part of that seed.
The Void's energy fed into it, and the Legends the secondary consciousness tried to plunder were returned to their original owner.
Cracks formed on its surface.
"Something" was blooming.
***
"Before you go back, I do have something to say."
Damien raised his brow.
"And what is that?"
"There is no end product without the processes that led to it."
"Hm?"
The other Damien smiled as the two of their existences separated for good.
"You do not always have to plow through directly. Sometimes, it truly is better to just go around the mountain."
"Ah...I guess I forgot I could reroute the GPS."
"What an amusing analogy."
"After all, I can't forget my roots."
"If you did, I'd be severely disappointed."
The two smiled in tandem.
They understood each other better than anyone else.
Because in the end, they were one.
But for now, they could not become whole.
Damien was pulled out of nonexistence by an invisible force, while his other half disappeared back to its true location.
And finally, the seed in his soul sprouted.
The Saint Emperor said something strange back then, but he was simply wrong.
Because the story of Damien Void...
"...will never end until I say so."